My apologies

I apologize for any misspellings in my last few posts. I currently do not have internet so I posted them through the mobile web on my cell phone. I am normally very anal retentive when it comes to grammar and spelling. As soon as I have access to the internet again I will fix them, in the meantime I hope you enjoy them regardless. 🙂


Hiding behind these hazel eyes
I run from you
I run so far away
I get lost again, off course
in this darkness
the shadows besiege me
hide me, silence my cries
muffle out my madness

somewhere inside me
lost within
love me, hate me
fill me with your every sin
I am everything
I am nothing
somewhere inside me
lost within

I’ll show no signs of weakness
your name I’ll never call
the tears fall on the inside
surely drowning out these lungs
cutting off my air
breathing is a luxury
I have no use for anymore

somewhere inside me
lost within
love me, hate me
blame me for your sins
I am everything
I am nothing
somewhere inside me
lost within…

Throwing my future to the wind
never taking strides
lost inside this capsule
frozen within this time
a fortitude no longer afforded
the cost too much to bare
payment rendered in blood

losing ground
upside down and sideways
never turning ’round
losing everything within me
thats been keeping me alive
cutting ties from all that binds me
all that held my hand
killing all that could be saved
everything that hides somewher inside me…

Lost within
love me, hate me
I am just your fucking sin
I was everything
now I am nothing
somewhere inside me
lost within
Blame me…
For I am your fucking sins
and only yours

Road’s Less Travelled

My road’s less travelled
covered in dirt and gravel
hide my heart beneath your walkway
hiding everything you didn’t break
everything you failed to take

the good in me is long gone
only hurt and insecurities remain
your lies stabbed right through me
proceed to twist them like a knife
love can’t survive here without a life

this mask obscures my scars
yet leaves every one intact
reminders of my broken past
a hope to no longer reminisce
bleeding out from within my sins

lingering in this moment
pain that darkens my door
lost in a valley of shadows
darkness everywhere I turn
a blackened fire in which I burn

smoke that engulfs my body
in this field of dying souls
lost inside this blasphemy 
I desire to fall so fast to sleep
never again waking from this dream


Everything that builds up
          standing strong and tall
                    never catching a break
                              yet slowly breaking as it falls

the net that dares to catch you
          has hidden rips upon its seams
                    a drop so far from reality
                              another tortuous kind of dream

drifting through the shadows
          walking past the lighted path
                    iniquity is my guardian angel of sorts
                             in all of its wicked craft

deceit so believing
          a pawn so easily convinced
                    a heart so drained and empty
                            soaks up everything you’ve missed

longing for an ending 
          a switch to off this light
                    losing touch with everything
                            forever walking through this night


These tears create a river
so you can float on by
another broken spirit
on her way to die
a love never cherished
like every girl deserves
heart left in the hands
of the master that shes served
lasting confrontations
lies hanging on her tongue
qualms weighing on her mind
finding simple gratifications
in the memories that she’s burnt
every fervant emotion
hit her where it hurt
fully knowing someday
she’d repay him for his work
he turned her into nothing
something nefarious at best
never giving solace
to the sins he may repent
ultimately taking from him
what he’d stolen from her long ago
leaving nothing but a hole within his chest
love is good, but revenge is sweeter 😉

Tear (in memory of my mother, whom I miss immensely)

A single lonely tear
A world full of hurt
A silent conversation
A dismal head bow
A lingering exit
A love never forgotten
A single lonely tear

Dear mom,
If you can hear what I’m thinking, or feel what I’m feeling, then you know how much I miss you. If you can’t, then let me tell you… I miss you with everything I have in me. Someday I hope that I will get to see you again. Until then, know that my love for you has not, nor will it ever die. Ps. I’d wake up with a smile on my face if you decided to invite yourself into my dreams tonight, I’d give anything to see your smile once more.
Love Always,

~heart & soul~


If tomorrow never existed and today was all that I had. I would not live in the present, for all of my memories are in my past. Oh the memories I have had, not all of them good, nor all of them bad. I’ve seen many wrongs done by ones that I love. And even some rights by those I detest. Some that I choose to tuck away, and some that I like the best. Bottle rockets behind the schoolyard, and the weekends with my dad at the Glen. Raking leaf piles with my grandpa, sand castles with grandma at the beach. Friends I thought I’d have forever, who now are so far out of reach. Love that struck my heart hard, and ultimately created three beautiful seeds. All the pain in the world that I’ve been hit with, has only made me as strong as I am today. So if tomorrow never existed, and today was all that I had, I’d hold the ones that I love dearly, and relish the memories I’ve been lucky enough to have had.

~heart & soul~

Breaking The Ice

Slowly breaking the ice as you chisel away at my heart. Tearing the wounds wide open, revealing everything that is evil underneath this flesh. A demon delving deeper into the burning ruins that once held the spark of a pure soul. Tossing and turning in the flames inside of this self contained pit of anguish. As the fire consumes, the vestige of my tormented soul diminishes. If I fall any further into the blaze I will not make it out dead or alive. I am destined to be the dust that settles, lying in wait, for something to come by and disturb me in my everlasting slumber.

~heart & soul~

It Isn’t Over

It isn’t over, it lasts forever more
All the pain, all the hurt
Seeps in through the skin
Into my heart, into my soul
Slowly killing me from within.

An early grave that I have dug
Deep down into the earth.
This thing called love is but a game
I’ve played and lost, hand after hand
With only myself to blame.

The heart, a vessel
Carrying us through this life
Feelings that amount to nothing
They twist, tear and pull me sideways
Digging deeper, my barrier it’s breaching.

My piece of mind has had no peace
A shallow hell I have been living in
A victim of my own consequence
Burning in the flames that I’ve created
The fallen embers are all I have left.

These clouds of fury, a beautiful storm
That buries all of my hopes
And dreams under the crumbling ground
Lost from anything, from everything
Never feeling the need to be found.

~heart & soul~


I’m sinking in this quick sand
Trying to claw my way back out.
Falling for what seems like forever
Never finding a place to land.
I am barely able to breath
Sand is filling up my lungs.
I’m sifting through this hourglass
Been flipped around so many times
I no longer know which way is up.
All that I am looking for
is a stable place to stand.
It appears that grounded footing
Is not something that I grasp.

~heart & soul~