Behind These Eyes

Look beyond my hazel eyes

and tell me what you see?

Do you see me?

I mean really see me.

See who I am inside and out.

See who I have become,

not what I have become.

If you see me in a different light,

than the one that I emit,

you may be on to something.

But if all you see is the dull yellow

that I’ve been slowly dimming for years

than you need to keep looking.

Look deeper,

look beyond the darkness,

behind the shadow that surrounds me.

Look into the soul that is hiding,

she’s there,

hiding,

waiting,

longing for someone to find her.

To save her,

to see her.

Will you give it another shot?

Will you look deeper under the surface?

Will you check behind every door?

Search even in that scary cobweb ridden basement.

Hopefully you find her,

and when you do you will understand.

There is more than what is perceived

upon my surface,

and when you finally see that,

will you then and only then see me.

Who Will? rough draft

This is just a rough draft… I know it needs work, any criticism is appreciated.  There is a vision i my head for this, but it’s not coming out very well on paper.  So I may end up rewriting it several times to get my point across.  So bare with me please…

 

When that sun that brightens your every day

comes crashing to the ground

and sets your world aflame,

who will be there to help you

through the smoke and the debris?

Who can help you find your way?

 

 

When that fire on your surface

seeps in as deep as it can get

and melts your very world,

who will throw in the life vest

to pull you from your molten flow?

Who can save you from that place?

 

When your heart reverts to nothing

and rebuilds its fortress out of ice

frozen ponds surround it like a mote,

who will build a bridge

to try and save you from yourself?

Who will melt that ice, like an early spring?

 

I will be there when you lose step,

and when your focus is unclear.

 

I will lift you off the rocks,

when you have fallen to the ground.

 

I’ll hold you, when you pull away

from those you once held dear.

 

I will cushion your crashing world,

and stop your fiery rivers flow.

 

I will be your eyes when they are blinded,

from the smoke that you have caused.

 

No matter what damage you have created,

my love for you is here, never to be lost.

Listen Up

I will tell you this and you’ll listen.

Because I am sick of being nice.

I am sick of playing this game fair,

as if it’s winnable at the roll of a dice.

Im sick of trying to keep my hands clean

while yours are always digging in the mud.

So go ahead and cry yourself a river,

I am readily preparing for your flood.

You made your bed, now lie in it.

After all,

lying is what you do the best.

Whispers in the Shadow

Whispers in the shadows,

while I’m walking through the dark

Clutching my fists in offense

as my fears hang on my heart.

 

Behind every single corner,

there lurks an evil to be had.

An innocence forgotten,

as blood slips through my hands.

 

A life I once lived full of regrets,

always wanting my grass greener.

Lost in my own fear of faith,

deadened of my old demeanor.

 

You appeared from out of nowhere,

with a grin so full of malice.

I submit myself to your misery,

in your fiery desolate palace.

Inner Battle

I’m in the middle of a confrontation,

between Me, Myself and I.

I can’t decide who or what I am,

at least not what I have become.

It’s a constant battle within me,

I want to feel again as one.

My thoughts pull me in one direction,

while my heart just drags me down.

I hate being caught in this confliction,

fighting what I feel, with what I know.

Until I have a lone winner,

as a person I cannot grow.

I need to know what is inside me,

whether it is fake or it is real.

Because my head tells me to think,

while my heart tells me to feel.

Which is wrong for me to trust,

more importantly, which is right?

I am desperate to survive this struggle,

for I can no longer fight.

Toxic

Though I know that you are toxic,

I would die for one last kiss.

Infection running through my blood,

poisonous love upon your lips.

 

If you could hold me in your fiery arms,

my heart would melt within your clutch.

I know your love is rotten to the core,

and I would wilt at your very touch.

 

What is the point to living,

if your love wasn’t worth the pain?

And why must I bleed repeatedly,

if you were never mine to gain?

 

To die while held within your arms,

shall never be my fate.

For you have turned my love for you,

into a searing hate.

Comatose

The dawn cannot break
if I remain in this dream.
I’ll hold the night hostage,
till you’re back with me.

In this reverie of sorts,
where you’re still by my side.
My heart on my sleeve,
no longer needing to hide.

Holding you close,
all the night, in this dream.
While you are the glue
keeping me tight at the seams.

I fear if I wake,
by my side you’ll be not.
So this dream I keep on,
because it is all that I’ve got.

This lie that I tell,
it is an absolute must.
For if I let these tears fall,
my heart may become dust.

If I ever wake
from this dark fantasy,
and look to my side
without you next to me…

I could not go on,
and my story would end.
My slumber keeps me safe,
awakened I can no longer pretend.

In this comatose state
I beg to remain.
When my eyes are still closed,
I will have you again.