This Mask

This mask that hides my thoughts
Glass eyes reflecting the light
As to falsify my life
To appear as something I’m not
Alive
Or living
My body is a tomb
Encroached upon my soul
Swallowing all I offered
Of myself
Liveliness lives here not
No longer at least

This mask hides scars
Wounds from battles
I’ve won and lost
Red flags, white flags, black flags
Thrown up in the air
You pick
You chose

This mask
That covers the lips of a liar
Underlined with truth
Subtle truths
Perplexing revelations in denial
Silencing the screams I hold within
Silence is key

The mask that resembles my likeness
Uncovering an emptiness
A glimmer of hope
Drowned out by my own device
Revealing holes
That have been hollowed out to my core
I’m such a bore
Even I can’t stand to look in the mirror
Not without the mask

The mask who creates a false reality
That allows me to be different
Creating something out of nothing
Believe the lie
I have
I will gladly pretend
My formulaic existence
Behind the mask

Changing Spaces

I’m tired of changing spaces

and I’m sick of feeling faceless

I am distraught from running in circles

because there’s always one more hurdle

I get lost in my own thinking

and I feel myself slowly sinking

from this I have taught nothing

I only wish I had learned something

I am tired of the waiting

for I am surely fading

never knowing where I am headed

only knowing I am still indebted

to those who shall remain nameless

to those of us who still are faceless

I’m still running circles viciously

because my life played out fictitiously

I give up on fighting this solo

the string is finally breaking on this yoyo

and I am just trying to outrun

all the wrongs that I have done

slowly losing my mind

never again for me to find

just an apathetic loser in this space

here I am without a face…

Seek To Find

where to look

I seek to find

I’m losing ground

so far behind

weakened heart

my strength is nil

to hurt to cry

to broken to kill

cracked beyond

beliefs repair

thoughts penetrate

my will to care

I’m losing hope

it’s falling fast

of an empty future

and tormented past

these angry hearts

bleed droplets down

never sought

never found

hate filling moments

in deadened memories

many times I’ve listened

to all your fallacies

god give me strength

to break this devil’s plunder

before my world burns down

and I am buried under

Often We Forget

Often times we forget
Who we are
Where we come from
Where we have been
We lose sight of ourselves
When our heart takes control
When our heart leads the way
We forget who to rely on
Who’s been there the whole time
The one who will always be

Often times we forget
Why we are where we are
The path that we’ve walked down
The mistakes that we’ve made
We lose sight of our destination
Our guiding lights fade away
We forget that dues need to be paid
That things don’t come easy
We lift bricks to build up our strength
Breaking ourselves some of these days

Often times we forget
Those that remain faithful
Through thick
Through thin
Through muddied waters
And blood riddled streams
The ones who’d lay their life on the line
Who would give everything
To breath life back into you
Those that would trade places to save you

Often times we forget…

But sometimes we’re reminded
Of who we are
What we can be
Why we are here
Reminded
To love without a doubt
That no matter what
We’re never truly alone
There is always someone thinking of us
Always

So please don’t forget…

Swallow

Swallow it down
These words I meant to say
The things that hold my breath
Deep inside these lungs
Beating heart
Faster
Harder
Choking on words
Irrational absolution
Boundaries
Betrayed
Words left to say
To be said
Displayed to all the world
As evil incarnate
Blame laid
Guilt ridden
Hollow
I’ve been hollowed out
By you
For you
For your hatred to flow through me
Permeating
Rising
Coursing through these veins
Tell me it’s over
I’ll end this
Tell me it’s okay
Won’t you tell me it will all be okay
Never
Will it never be?
Can it ever be?

On the road…

Since the day I met her I knew I loved her.  I lived my life for her for so long I could barely remember who I was.  I had everything I had ever wanted… Or did I?  I had set my dreams aside for her, to live beside her, to love her.  I almost forgot where my drive for life had originated.  I loved music, almost as much as I loved her.  Possibly more so, I don’t even know anymore.  She was the love of my life, but music WAS my life.  I had put it off for so long, I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I had to see if this was all there was for me, or if there was something more out there waiting, hoping I would find it.  I would have to leave her for awhile, but she had my heart and you can’t leave your heart for good.  She knew I’d be back once I found what I was looking for.  So I set out on a journey.  Seeking music.  Seeking everything I once based my life off of.  Searching for that which held my heart before she had, so I could give the rest of it to her someday.  I am on a journey, maybe someday I will find what I seek.

Memories

If memories last a lifetime
Why can I forget
Why can I find doubt
In what they claim to be
Some seem like a fantasy
Like a distant dream
A far off land
One where nothing is
what it appears to be
The air is earth
Winds are words
And stars are sands
I walk on water
I swim through stone
And even then
I swim alone
I live my death
As if life was lost
Hiding in pure sunlight
Shadow guides my way
Every word hangs on my tongue
But not a thing to say
Flowers rot from the petals down
Leaving sickness in the ground
Moon dims down
In the evening light
when my darkened day
Turns into night