This is the last tear that falls for you
The last one to pass this lid
The last time I fall for this
Without a net to catch me in
This is the last lie that will ever hurt me
The last one to flow over your lips
The last time I believe your words
Without the taste of poison in your kiss
This is the last word I will have spoken
The last one directed to you
The last time my heart will be broken
While you’re off loving somebody new
This is the last tear that falls for you
I’m sick of crying over words unsaid
I dwell on their deeper meaning
I’m tired of trying to keep this out of my head
I’m suffering from what you’re not seeing
It pains me to live while not feeling alive
This tortuous hole I’m stuck in
But to dig myself out I’ll not even try
I’ve grown used to my tattered old skin
I wish that I could erase time
I wouldn’t slow it down
nor reverse it
or even speed it up
just pick and choose
what to keep
and what to throw away
I wish that I could play God
with my own memories
I would doctor them up
so every recollection
was without you in it
no more constant reminders
of our broken past
I wish to clear this dirt away
from my rose colored glasses
to look past the lies
before my eyes
to tune out the words you speak
to forget that feel
of your arms around me
I wish to have more chances
with someone else
to remember things I loved
people I’ve missed
to look back at
everything I’ve missed out on
that seems so out of reach
I wish I didn’t have to wish
that you had been truthful
that you were true
I wish things had been perfect
that forever was in my grasp
I wish that you had seen
before the ending had come so fast
There is a shortness in my breath And a sadness in my whisper A pain within my heart But no longer will it linger...
These tears of mine that fall, they don’t fall in vain,
but in unholy anguish.
At the simple mention of your name.
That whisper in the wind,
it reminds me of your breath.
The breath that used to caress my neck, as I slept.
As you secretly thought of another. Someone more to hold,
just another lover.
Oblivious to your wants and wishes, I was sideswiped by your conditions, in this nightmare I was having.
A karma ridden dream, punishment of the unforeseen.
As you kept pretending,
I caught a hint of a broken bridge elsewhere you were mending.
Where does that leave me,
after all these bones I have broken, and after all of my bending?
Fighting a war that was sure to be lost.
Blood, tears, and flesh, drowned in my dream of you,
So you snuck away while I slept,
a slight tear you wept for me,
leaving me stuck in this abhorrent reverie.
In my sleep I felt the warm drift off,
as the winter slowly slipped in between the sheets.
In this dream of you, I loved,
even after you left.
Your heart wasn’t in it as mine was.
Alone lost in that nightmare, tortured soul, broken fortitude.
Sorrow saddened that heart as it wept, come back.
Once my forever love.
Now just your defiled love.
Up again go these walls,
engulfing what I hold dearest.
Hiding in the darkest,
in hopes it’ll never be found.
I’ve grown comfortable in myself,
not with myself,
but in myself.
Buried deep under my layers.
Silence can’t come soon enough.
I’m done searching.
Finished waiting in line,
waiting my turn.
Stowing away everything I’m afraid to lose.
Everything I know you’d take, given the chance.
No more chances.
No more hoping,
longing for something.
For anything at all.
Contentions laid to rest.
In this blanket of flesh,
I build my walls up of stone.
A non penetrable force,
to guard my heart,
my life, my love, my everything…
My nothing at all.
I am just dragging myself over a cliff
Hurling myself onto a bunch of jagged rocks
Fiercely tearing me apart limb by limb as I fall
Piece by fucking piece
Slowly draining every last drop of blood from this lifeless hunk of flesh I call home
Staining these rocks with what once was my life force
No longer bleeding
My hearts no longer beating
My loneliness no longer needing
A hopeless kind of lover like you
Torn into bits by your metaphorical hands
Your ice riddled bitter heart left me frost bitten
Left alone in this world
Meak and broken
Hidden in the shadows of the sun
So I climbed the highest mountain
Threw my pennies in the fountain
And wished myself finally rid of you
I crawled to the edge
Said your name in a prayer
As I dragged myself over a cliff
Some of you may have noticed my header is a bit different, if not that’s ok too, I wanted to update it with a recent picture. My issue is the photo program that came with my mac isn’t much of an editor, I was hoping I could ask for your help. Do any of you know of a decent free program for Mac OSX Lion that edits pictures? I like the picture that I have for my header, but I think it’s too big but if I crop it anymore with my current program it gets so pixely that it’s just a blur. Any help would be much appreciated. ❤ LacieJay
Crack me open like a walnut
Take a peek at what lies inside
Picking me apart piece by piece
Find every cranny that I might hide
Find a way to let my thoughts go
And blend your world with mine
Take your claim over my heart
It may belong to you in time
Sleepless night restless again so many thoughts run through my head I've gotten lost inside these walls waiting here for myself to fall into slumber drown out the screams off to a happy place within my dreams