Love In Death

She lies there and listens to the foot steps getting closer.  There’s a sudden flash of darkness underneath the doorway.  Frightened and alone she crawls under her bed.  The sound of his boots on the hardwood get closer, louder.  They sound so close the fear begins to sink in under her skin.  The door opens ever so slowly, without a sound.  She watches from under the bed as he walks around it.  She is silent.  Holding her breath with all of her strength, knowing that if he finds her it will be her last.  He doesn’t stay long, continuing his search down the hall in her brother’s room.

She listens.  Waiting until the sound of each step gets further away. Breathing out, she catches a scream before it makes it past her lips.  Crawling out from under that mattress she has a plan.
Her window is open a crack, so she crawls quietly over to the sill and pulls her shaken body up.  As she peers out through the glass, something catches her eye. Unsteadily she turns around gripping tightly to the window sill to find the man standing in her doorway.  He dashes across the room as she tries to climb out the window.  When all of a sudden the room goes black.

A feeling of cold washes over her, opening her eyes to nothing but darkness.  The air is thick and pungent.  The smell of death is in the vicinity but without a light to see, there is no telling what direction it is coming from.  She tries to move but her hands are bound.  Is this it?  Is this the end for her?  She begins to kick furiously, hoping someone will hear her.  What was that sound? Her heart starts pumping at the sound of footsteps.  The light comes on and her eyes close.  It is so bright that it stings.  She reopens them slowly letting them adjust to the light so she can see who is there.

A shadowy figure covers her like an umbrella blocking out the sun.  All she can see is the fire in his eyes, and she knows now that this is her hell.  He bends down over her, his face still enveloped by his shadow.  Reaching out he touches her face with rough gritty hands.  The smell of dirt and rusted metal on his fingertips.  Horrified, she turns her head away.  His gentle touch quickly turns into anger as he grabs her face with his ogre like hand and pulls her up within an inch of his.  She closed her eyes once more.  His fiery breath warming her neck, and the sickly sweet smell coming out of his mouth made her gag.

The smell of infection riddled her sinuses, throwing her off guard.  He drops her back to the floor.  As she hits she rolls onto her side.  Her view no longer blocked from the light, she can see everything in the room.  Bodies of young girls strewn across the floor, naked and bloodied.  A lifeless vision of what is to be her future as well.  The man laughs at her as if this is all a big joke.  She wasn’t amused, she was scared half to death.  By the looks of it she wasn’t far from it either.  He grabs her feet and drags her through the bodies. She screams as she bumps into each young tortured woman.  Never had she imagined things like this existed, such a naive girl.  He takes her into an empty room, well empty besides a lamp and a single hook hanging from the ceiling.  He forces her to undress, she’s resistant all the way through.  He hits her, knocking her to the ground.  Grabs her by her ankles and wraps a rope snugly around them.

Lifting her up, he places her ankles up onto the hook and left her hanging upside down.  At this point her tears have stopped flowing and her hopes are forgotten.  She knows the inevitability of the situation so she doesn’t fight it.  The man pulls out his knife and grazes her bare skin with it.  Teasing her  and taunting her.  She’s ready, she’s never been more ready for anything in her life.  Relief flows over her as he makes his first slice.  Slowly and precise he cuts under her left breast.  Using her blood like finger paints to draw hearts on her stomach.  He holds her hand while he makes his next cut, as if they were in it together.

They were in it together, in a sense.  This moment was theirs and no one elses.  A memorable one at that.  Her complexion fades but her heart still beats.  Not for much longer though, her time is almost here.  This is usually his favorite part, watching the life fade from their eyes, but hers doesn’t fade.  Her eyes are brighter and more lovely than ever.  She is ready for this.  Gripping onto his hand as if forever was seconds away, she whispers goodbye.  He kisses her cheek  and whispers it back.  He gracefully places the blade against her neck and slides it across.  The blood flows down her chin and over her lips and she had never been as beautiful as in this moment.

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I’d Be

I’d only be lying to myself if I said that this doesn’t matter if I said I didn’t care
And I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I wished you were here, not there

I’d be unfaithful to myself if I kept all these things I feel hidden
And I’d be a fool to think that you’d fall for me until I’d finally admit it.

Tonight I’ll Sleep Silent

Tonight I’ll sleep silent
While a treacherous storm awaits
swooping down to take everything
Lifting it off of the ground
Shaking me, rattling me
The wind howls
As the rain thrashes against the panes
The breath pulled straight from my lungs
In this frigid air
Surrounded by dirt and rubble
Left in the eye of the storm
Amongst the wreckage am I
Still sleeping, still dreaming
Silent whispers lingering
From the calm before

Winters Chill

And I continue to sit out in the cold, in the snow, as if this winter could never touch me.  A part of me was already numb.  No amount of cold could freeze this already icy heart.  Contemplating on the days to come as well as those that have passed.  As if now was the only real moment I would ever have.  I just sit here and waste it away.  Leaning against a tree that no longer shades me from the light, or the truth.  No longer provides that much needed break from the elements.  There is a chill in the air.  My thoughts jump aboard and ride the wind in hopes to find something more, some place warmer.  This cold continues to grow and in the end all is hopeless.  The ice will consume me.  Waiting on a heart warm enough to break through mine.  One warm enough to bring mine back to life.  But it is far to cold outside, and while this Winters chill can’t touch me it will touch any who are not already numb like myself. 

Open door

I open the door of which I’ve hid behind, releasing me from this hell.  I let myself out into the world to find peace.  A peace that can’t be found inside my head, nor inside my heart.  Such a peace that once it washes over me I feel clean.  I feel as if it has sunk in, beyond skin deep, but deeper into the blackness of my soul.  Filling the inner emptiness with Serenity.  No longer empty, no longer angry, no longer in pain.  To stand here looking into the vast world before me with new eyes.  Never to look back at that which has held me in place for this long.  Never looking back.

Hold Me

In the dark
In this night
I let this dream slip through my fingers
As I give up my fight
No holding back
Not running for cover
This blackness calls me
And no other
I shan’t try to hide
I won’t duck and run
I will let it come
Let it have its fun
What I can’t see now
Will appear as my eyes adjust
So I let it all sink in
In my fears I trust
To hold me down
To hold me back
To pull me under
This shroud of black