I like to log onto my facebook and various social networks to check out what’s up with friends and family. To appear like I know what is going on in the world.. Like there is this singular place that I can go to catch up on the world, my world. I’ve got friends on facebook, followers on twitter, tumblr and instagram. Some that I knew at some point in my life, hugged, talked to, told secrets to. Then there are others who I’ve never officially met, but they are good people too. I think for me the feeling of being connected to these people makes me feel like I belong, like I somehow fit into their worlds somewhere. I know better though. I know for most of those “friends or family” I am just another one on the list. I think being so connected has actually disconnected me from the reality of things. Its kept me behind the fog. Sometimes the air clears and I am able to see through the bullshit and lies. I stare past the plastic smiles and empty hearts. I know I talk about people I used to know pretty often, but my whole life is one great big fallacy. I don’t have a single friend. I don’t say this to get sympathy, I say it because its true. In the past few years I have changed and the people I used to know I’m sure have too. I never expected things to stay the same. I never expected people to stay the same. How could I? But with how easily connected people are on social media nowadays, its easy to pretend everything’s the same. But if you take the screen away there is nothing. No communication, no validation, no sense of normalcy at all. In my case that’s how it is at least. I think sites that bring people together are great for some, but for people like me it creates a sense of false imprisonment. If I stop logging on I am basically leaving everyone I know behind, but in reality I’ve left them long ago. This fallacy I call life is as empty as I am. I can sugar coat it with fake friends and fake ideals but underneath its something undesirable. It is real and it is unimportant. Just a thought I was thinking I guess. It probably sounds dumb or irrational, but I am irrational which would make it all perfectly sane and normal for me. Anyways, sorry for that big post of dumb shit but it needed to be said so I’d stop thinking it.