Lifeless

I stand here lifeless as the water beats down fast and hard on my skin
Getting hotter and hotter as it turns my flesh from peach to red
The steam rises fogging up the glass, blurring my vision
The pain isn’t enough to clear my thoughts of inadequacy
It isn’t enough to redeem me for the things I’ve said or done to myself
I’ve gone numb to these feelings of hurt and hate
It seems that no amount of fire or fury can get through to me
I’ve grown cold and hardened to it all
But I still stand here lifeless with the tiniest of hopes of chipping away at the ice built up around my heart

Weathered

I gladly walk alone under a shroud of grey skies
Not shying away from the oncoming storm
I dance in step when the thunder rolls
Tuned in to the beat of the rain hitting the ground
I keep walking forward in this darkened world
As every flash of lightning lights my way
I may take comfort in the cold
But there’s no denying the fire that burns inside
Strengthening my every step
Despite these broken bones I walk on
These winds try hard to sweep me off my feet
But I journey on in spite of them
Pushing through this cloud of darkness
Knowing that after every storm that’s weathered I’ll get to again see the rainbow

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Stink of You

These thoughts linger like the stench of death It has embedded itself into my pores
Covering me with its filth
This grotesque madness engulfs me
Rotting me inside out
Flowing through my veins like sewage
Causing the infection to spread
Scavenging around inside my worn down heart
Picking through the best of me
The only salvageable parts that are left
Stuffing them into holes dug with my memories
Filling me to the brim with dirt and death
But I just can’t get the stink of you off of me
 

Shadows

She breathes in and thrives on the darkness
She glows long into the night
Never fearing the things that hide behind the shadows
Never having any need for the light

She Loved

She would never tell him
how much she needed him,
how much she missed holding him.
She couldn’t tell him
how much she still loved him.
It had taken him so long to begin healing
and she knew it wasn’t fair to come along
and rip back open those wounds.
So she suffered in silence.
She suffered every time he smiled
and said hello as a regular passerby.
She suffered so he didn’t have to.
She loved.

Chromatic

We’re living in a chromatic world that chooses to see everything in black and white.

I’m trying to keep my head and heart clear while everyone around me lives behind rose colored glasses.

We hate and argue over differences in appearance, thoughts and beliefs.

I’m trying to see the good, but it’s really hard to understand any of it.

So I’ve become comfortably numb in a world that’s become comfortably ignorant.

My thoughts run into the negative
And I know I should run from them
But instead I stay and let the dark consume me
I’m becoming comfortable with the chaos
I don’t know any other way

Reflections

I run my finger along the mirrors cracks
Feeling every one of my imperfections multiplied by ten
Singling one out, I circle it
Telling myself how ugly I’ve become
I recall a time when I felt beautiful
Without the help of a mirror or lighting
I remember waking up beautiful
And falling asleep beautifully
But broken hearts and empty loves changed me
Every sad thought and bad dream form on my surface
Left with disfigured reflections to see