Dreams

I grow tired
As I soak in all this light
I dream for one to steal me
Into the darkness of the night
To lead me down the pathway
Disheveled and unclean
To a place unbeknownst to I
One that I’ve never been
A place riddled with hatred
More than I’ve held inside
A shack amongst the shoreline
In the wake of the rising tide
But as I’m shackled to my memories
Ones that I shall never be set free
A simple dream is all I’ll have
In the enlightened side of me.

Thoughts of a Wandering Heart

I am a member of a community, and we are called BzzAgents.  WWW.bzzagent.com  We are participating in a fundraising campaign called Live Below The Line.

WHAT IS LIVE BELOW THE LINE ?

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

Live Below the Line is a campaign that challenges individuals and communities to eat and drink on just $1.50 per day for 5 days. By exposing participants to a glimpse of some of the daily difficulties experienced by the 1.4 billion people who live in extreme poverty every day, for everything, the campaign provides a unique window into understanding the realities of life for so many.

Through the insights gained over the 5 days, Live Below the Line is assembling a movement of people passionate about eradicating extreme poverty. Through partnerships with various charities, the campaign raises both awareness and critical funds.

I am asking that my followers help with this…

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Live Below The Line Campaign

I am a member of a community, and we are called BzzAgents.  WWW.bzzagent.com  We are participating in a fundraising campaign called Live Below The Line.

WHAT IS LIVE BELOW THE LINE ?

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

Live Below the Line is a campaign that challenges individuals and communities to eat and drink on just $1.50 per day for 5 days. By exposing participants to a glimpse of some of the daily difficulties experienced by the 1.4 billion people who live in extreme poverty every day, for everything, the campaign provides a unique window into understanding the realities of life for so many.

Through the insights gained over the 5 days, Live Below the Line is assembling a movement of people passionate about eradicating extreme poverty. Through partnerships with various charities, the campaign raises both awareness and critical funds.

I am asking that my followers help with this cause, either by going to www.livebelowtheline.com and creating their own profile or donating through my profile here.  I am going to be participating in hopes to understand what some people go through on a daily basis.  I am lucky enough to not have a shortage of funds to feed my family, nor a shortage of food itself.  Not everyone is that lucky, so let’s help them out as much as we can.  If you create your own profile you can choose out of several charities that the money you raise will go to.  I have chosen to donate to UNICEF.  You can read a little bit about what UNICEF is here if you are unfamiliar with them.   If you choose to participate in this by either doing it yourself or donating I would like to thank you ahead of time.  Live Below The Line provides a cookbook for download here along with other resources to see how this campaign has worked in previous years if you would like to participate.  I truly hope that you at least look into this campaign and spread it around to help raise money for people who really need it.  And THANK YOU again for reading this.  🙂

And the storm will pass….

It is hard to feel alive when everything around you is dead or dying.

And some times it’s hard to find inspiration when the world seems to be caving in around you.

Maybe I am not looking hard enough, seeking far enough, seeing what is right before my eyes.

I will look harder this time, look beyond a dying moment.

Out of death, life emerges.

When I feel like the storm has me weathered, and the clouds come rolling through.

I’ll wait for the clouds to pass, and look up to the heavens.

And there is where I see you and your smile peeking through.

Dedicated to my mother, who despite her flaws, was a wonderful woman whom I wish I had had more time with. She will always be missed.

Tag You’re It

I was tagged by  Arjun and was asked to answer the following questions.  I usually hate these things, but I figured I would climb out of my comfort zone and do it.  It was fun 🙂  I don’t have very many followers, so I can’t tag all 11 like I am supposed to.  Tags will be below.

RULES:
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

. 1) Describe yourself in one word.
. Creative

. 2) Favourite childhood memory
. Easter egg hunting at my grandmother’s house, I looked forward to it every year.
.
. 3) Best accomplishment/moment of triumph.
. Getting my first apartment all on my own, without depending on anyone else.
.
. 4) Ur current job and what u wanted to be while growing up
. I am a stay at home mom, but I always wanted to be an engineer, I like taking things apart and fixing them.
.
. 5) Something that you are good at skill wise
. Grammar and spelling. 🙂
.
. 6) Name one self invented superstition
. I have to hold my breath while I shower, I drown when I was little and ever since will not breath if water is touching my head.
.
. 7) A real life story that you would definitely tell ur kids someday.
. I have told my kids the story of how their father and I met, and how much we were in love when we got married and had them. They love to look at the wedding pictures almost as if they remember the day, even though they were not here yet.
.
. 8) Name one regret that u have.
. That I didn’t spend more time with my mother before she passed away at an early age. 😦
.
. 9) If you had to change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
. I would change the fact that I dwell on the past too much, sometimes the past does more damage than we should allow it to.
.
. 10) Something that scares you?
. Heights, and roller coasters make me cry like a baby
.
11) An experience that changed your life.
Having my first child, I grew up really fast that day, but I think it helped me learn to love everything just a little bit more than I used to.

1)    Corey

2)   Jamie

3)   Maggie Mae

4)   Tiger

Obviously this is optional, and none of you have to answer any of these, but it would be a good way to get to know some of my fellow bloggers better.  🙂  Hope to hear your answers. 

1) What is your favorite color?

2) What song has the most meaning to you?

3) If you could choose to be any kind of animal what would you be?

4) What is one place in the world that you haven’t been to, but would love to go?

5) What is your favorite food?

6) Do you have a favorite movie?

7) What is your biggest fear?

8) What kind of car do you drive?

9) Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage, if so what is it?

10) Have you ever made snow angels?

11) Is there a scent that when you smell it, it brings back good memories for you?  mine is falling leaves, I love the smell of autumn leaves 🙂

Just a Simple Soundtrack

Every once in awhile I post a song that really moves me in a way that most others don’t.  It usually has lyrics that are close to my heart.  A song that every time I listen to it I get the chills, because it seems like it was written about my life.  The one I am going to post today is “Shake It Out” by Florence and The Machine.  I absolutely love this song, it is magical.  The music video for it is pretty awesome too.  The first time I heard this song on the radio I teared up.  The experience that the woman has in the lyrics is one I am all to familiar with.  I am very familiar with the pains of a broken heart, and her words just tear at my heart strings.  She says everything in this song that I have thought, but wasn’t smart enough to put on paper.  She has a fantastic voice, and you can hear her soul in it.  I hope you guys enjoy it.  I am going to post their youtube video, and the song lyrics, because I know when I hear a song I love I want to read the words like a book to fully let it sink in.  Enjoy!!

 

 

 

“Shake It Out” by Florence and The Machine

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around

Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
‘Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa…

And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

A poem I entered in a poetry contest

Thoughts of a Wandering Heart

And one day I saw you

I fell head over heals

My world revolved around you

I longed for something real

I felt like I was everything

Was lost ’til you found me

For you I would do anything

Be everything you wanted me to be

All those things you told me

Never were they true

The person you pretended to be

was someone I barely knew

Never would I have guessed

How much hurt you could inflict

So much heartbreak I now possess

Nothing’s ever perfect, and forevers don’t exist

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This is a short story I wrote

Genevieve was an awkward sort of girl, the kind that many walked past without even noticing that she existed.  Never bothering to glance her way, and taking the chance to meet someone unique.  But she did exist, and whether those that passed her by noticed her or not, she knew who she was.  She was friendly, and full of love. Wearing her heart on her sleeves was common for her, because she saw how the notion of love was hard to find, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t lose it like others she knew had.  Genevieve was creative, and loved to see the world through a kaleidoscope.  Watching as things shifted, and the colors blended to make new ones.  She looked at the world and saw greatness and that made her happy.

But when she tried to sleep at night, her mind would race.  Thoughts of that fateful day would fill her head.  She pictured the fluffy white clouds, and the fresh cut grass.  An ice cold glass of lemonade, squeezed fresh by her mother that very morning, dripping condensation over her hands.  She sees the daisies that she helped her mother plant, daisies were her favorite flower, and her mother knew that.  Fresh tomato sandwiches set out on the picnic table in the backyard.  Her mother was the best, she loved her so much.  They were like best friends.  Such a wonderful day she had had.  She could never ask for a better one and she knew it.

The day began to dwindle down, and a cool night breeze had started to blow, when all of a sudden it happened.  Something unforeseen, something so absolutely weird that she had to take a picture, to prove to herself that this was real.  An object had fallen from out of the darkened clouds and landed in the front yard.  She ran down the stairs and out her front door to get a better look at what exactly had happened.  The object was odd, she couldn’t figure out what it was, possibly some sort of rock.  She circled the object that had created a small hole underneath it, and noticed something even weirder than the rock itself.

There was a red liquid slowly seeping out from under it.  How very odd she thought, whatever could that be?  Just then her father ran out and yelled to Genny, which was his nickname for her.  She was so mesmerized by the rock that she didn’t hear him calling.  He grabbed her shoulder and asked if she had seen her mother.  Genny hadn’t seen her since earlier, and told her father so.  She pointed to the red stain in the lawn and asked her father what it could be.  He had noticed something more, he saw golden strands of what appeared to be hair, flowing out from under the rock as well.  Instantly, without a second thought her father attempted to move the rock.  Unsuccessfully he asked for help, not telling Genny what he thought he saw.

As a team they were able to move the rock, and she was flabbergasted.  Her father caught her as she fell to the lawn.   She finally saw what she had failed to notice at first glance.  The rock had covered her mother like a blanket.  The weight of it had pressed the life right out of her, similar to what she did earlier with the lemons.  Gone, her mother was gone.  How could she be dead after just that afternoon she had been so alive?  Her best friend was just lying there lifeless in the front yard.  What was Genny to do?  How will she go on?  Just as those thoughts crossed her mind, everything went dark.

She awoke startled and unsure what was going on.  Convinced she had had a terrible nightmare, she screamed for her mother.  “Mom, mom, where are you, I need you” she hollered.  She waited, no response.  As she called out again “Mom, I love you, I need you”.  Still nothing, so she frantically climbed out of bed and ran downstairs.  Leaving the front door open as she proceeded to the front lawn where a group of emergency personnel had gathered around the hole.  “Oh no, it wasn’t a dream, it was real, my mother is really dead” she cried to herself.  She ran over to the rock, to make sure she wasn’t mistaken.

When Genevieve reached the rock, she gasped and took a step back.  Nobody seemed to notice she was standing there.  She cried out in confusion but nobody heard her.  The crowd started to open up as the EMT’s were bringing in a body bag.  And as the crowd parted she saw her mother, very much alive.  How could this be, what was happening?  As the EMT’s were zipping up the bag, she crept closer and peered into it, and saw her reflection.  She knew it wasn’t her reflection, it was her, it was never her mother that was under that rock.  It was her, everything is slowly coming back to her.

She recalled her mother asked her to run out and check the mailbox.  She had been waiting for a letter from uncle Bill.  She remembered stopping before she made it to the mailbox and staring up into the oncoming storm clouds.  That’s when she saw it, the object, the rock, her fate.  It was her that had been under that rock, her golden locks and her blood flowing out from under it.  What was she to do, she never got to say goodbye to her mother?  She was always looking on the bright side, who would have imagined something so atrocious could happen to her?  Genevieve was an awkward sort of girl, the kind that many walk past and never even noticed she exists, only it was because she didn’t anymore.  She used to have dreams, now she lives trapped inside her own nightmare.

Tear (in memory of my mother, whom I miss immensely)

A single lonely tear
A world full of hurt
A silent conversation
A dismal head bow
A lingering exit
A love never forgotten
A single lonely tear

Dear mom,
If you can hear what I’m thinking, or feel what I’m feeling, then you know how much I miss you. If you can’t, then let me tell you… I miss you with everything I have in me. Someday I hope that I will get to see you again. Until then, know that my love for you has not, nor will it ever die. Ps. I’d wake up with a smile on my face if you decided to invite yourself into my dreams tonight, I’d give anything to see your smile once more.
Love Always,
Lacie

~heart & soul~