Over and over

An incessant drum beat

Banging on my skull

Over and over and over

Smashing through my thoughts

Drowning everything else out

I don’t just hear it

I can feel it too

The pulsing and the pounding

Feels like I’m a time bomb

Slowly tick, tick, ticking

I better start bracing for the boom


The sun sets and I dread the night to come

Because with the darkness come the dreams

And with the dreams come visions of what could’ve been

How we should’ve been

Hesitantly I lie my head down to slumber

Buried under the weight of the unknowing

Not being able to fight it, I succumb to the sandman’s powers

And hope that morning comes quickly

Redbull gives me insomnia(wings not included)

It’s nights like tonight when I lie in bed, Red bull still pumping through my veins from supper time and my dog scratching my legs as he tries to make himself comfortable under my blanket, that I over think things. I think about yesterday. I think about last week. I think about that one guy I dated 10 years ago. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. Mostly in my dreams, sometimes not. I wonder how he’s doing and wonder if he ever wonders how I’m doing. Probably not. I’m not the type of person people wonder about. It’s ok, I’m used to it. It’s funny because the whole time I was drinking my energy drink I was thinking that I shouldn’t because I’ll be awake all night long. Maybe that was subconsciously the plan. A means of self torture for some random shitty thing I’ve done at some random shitty time in my life. Oh well, no rest for the wicked I suppose.


If you’ve never felt lonely,

I can tell you how it feels

Loneliness feels like the only fish in the ocean

It feels like the last air bubble making it’s way to the surface

Lonely is standing in a crowded room and not being able to connect with another human

It’s when the moon has waited all day to come out to play but everyone is in bed sound asleep

So if you’ve never felt lonely

Let me tell you how I feel


I keep looking over my shoulder
Hoping there’s someone out there searching for me with lantern in hand and a kind heart
I’ve hidden behind these shadows for so long that I’ve lost myself in the dark
I’ve absorbed it through my skin the way I should the sun
Darkness surrounds me and I desperately seek the way out
Can’t someone come save me

Memory Induced Insomnia

Words and images crash against my skull
A train gone off its rails
Unbearable madness trying desperately to break through
But the surface is stronger than my will power
The chaos creeps up through the cracks
Broken seams it seems
Fissures overfilled with the wreckage
Empty mechanics ruptured in ways I never imagined possible
Such pandemonium in my head
Only when the fog lights dim and I set my mind to cruise control