hungry eyes

I’ll open these eyes that have been blinded
From all that I’ve not wanted to see
Behind your facade, I have been hiding
Hoping for more than I knew it would be
So blindly lead into the fire
Without as much as a fight or a fuss
But even I have grown weary and tired
No longer in you, can I trust
So I’ll put out these flames with my teardrops
As I lie here broken and blue
Bombarded by hate and by heartache
I’ll drown in my sorrows for you


Free Bird

My head lies on the pillow awaiting for a dream
                   to sweep me up and away from here
               away from everything that I have seen
                           The lights get to be too bright
                      will you dim them down a bit for me?
                                 There's so much in this darkness
                           that I have yet to get a chance to see
                                          Something evil may be lurking
                                       but those chances are pretty low
                                             Under the spark of a shooting star
                                                    I can wander around forever
                                                   ever knowing where I will go
                                                         This dream will be a journey
                                      one that will take me to places I've never been
                                                                 Imagination gets to run wild
                                                                 not destined to run in place
                                                                            I am free within my head
                                                           to roam wherever I want inside this space
                                              So vast
                                                                               No more reasons to hide myself
                                                                         I can finally outrun my damaged past
                                                                                            Away from pain, and anger
                                                                                          I can leave them far behind
                             For I am finally a free bird
                                               when I get lost inside my mind


The dawn cannot break
if I remain in this dream.
I’ll hold the night hostage,
till you’re back with me.

In this reverie of sorts,
where you’re still by my side.
My heart on my sleeve,
no longer needing to hide.

Holding you close,
all the night, in this dream.
While you are the glue
keeping me tight at the seams.

I fear if I wake,
by my side you’ll be not.
So this dream I keep on,
because it is all that I’ve got.

This lie that I tell,
it is an absolute must.
For if I let these tears fall,
my heart may become dust.

If I ever wake
from this dark fantasy,
and look to my side
without you next to me…

I could not go on,
and my story would end.
My slumber keeps me safe,
awakened I can no longer pretend.

In this comatose state
I beg to remain.
When my eyes are still closed,
I will have you again.

Into This Night

I will go blindly into this night, into the dark.  I shall not fear the unknown, but embrace it with open arms.  To search for the little bits of light that have been riddled throughout, hidden in the darkness.  I know it does exist, it must, it just has to be sought out, and seek it I shall.  With as much faith as I can muster up, I will be vigilant in my search.  Through the dank, tortuous roads, not guided by light posts, but by the light of the moon.  The air so thick I must claw my way through.  Sifting the mist through my fingers.  The dark can be overwhelming at times, but hold on I must.  Keeping my head up as I walk this darkened path.  For I know that the light at the end will be brilliant, and I will finally have found what I have been searching for.  So fearlessly I march, to the end, to reach the beginning again.

I Smile In Thought

As I sit and I ponder on past reveries,

Dreams I once had that never came true.

Places I wanted to go, and things I yearned to do.

Held in this place, like a boat anchored at sea.


An ocean of wonder I had, knock knocking at my door.

But chances had slipped through the grip in my hands,

Fell to the shore and washed away with the sand.

A venture in life I’ll never get to explore.


But not all missed chances are unfortunate,

Sometimes that’s when simple pleasures prevail.

Tiny grip of a new baby’s hand, and your hearts been derailed.

Your new adventure has begun, one without a template.


A precious little one for you to love and to help grow.

Teacher, mother, confidant, and friend.

Not needed through only tomorrow, but until the very end.

This death of a dream had been foreknown.


So as I sit and ponder on my past reverie,

I smile in thought that any adventure I could take.

Not a boat, or plane, nor new pathway I could make,

Could ever bring as much joy and happiness as the life of a new mommy.



My path has been pre-determined,
there’s no way to turn back time.
I walk alone, I always have.
I may have had companionship along the way,
but ultimately it is I who have to walk this path.
To walk until the light dies out.
‘Til this road comes to the edge of the earth.
And walk this long and winding road I will.
Climbing over every downed branch,
and standing back up after every stumble.
Shaking off the dirt as I have in the past.
When the pain is too much to handle,
and my legs grow weak and weary,
I will break inside, yet I’ll keep moving.
I know that when I lose track of my way,
it’ll lead me back to this.
Back to where I belong, to resume this desolate road.
And when I reach the end,
when the edge of the earth is upon me,
I will have made it.
And peace will be upon me, and I will fall.
Fall into myself.
Into my destined ending.


I bury myself under this earth in hopes to drown out the wind.
For it cries out to me every time you come across my mind.
The storm that’s approaching is seemingly bigger than the last.
May this one bring a thunder that crashes so loudly my ears ring,
so I can no longer hear your voice.
And lightning that hits me so fiercely that I’m blinded to the sight of you.
Wiping every memory of your face from my mind.
Raindrops that will impersonate my tears, allowing my eyes to finally dry.
Let my sorrows wash away in the rivers they’ve created.
Washing away the memory as I am unearthed once more.
The warming sun rises alongside me, rebirthing me, without any remembrance of you.


And I awaken…
Not from sleep
Nor from death
but from this subconscious decline
Better days peeking through my dirty window
A brand new door awaits for me to open and explore
An adventure just starting
A new day to right all my wrongs
To fix my mistakes
To patch the cracks

And I awaken
From within myself
Within my heart
Within my soul
With every last breath in my lungs
Once again I will be whole

~heart & soul~