Consumption

There’s this ache
Deep beneath my flesh
That whispers sweet memories into my head
And pain into my heart

And this thought that consumes me
An everlasting reminder of sorrow
Devouring me from within

There’s this poison
That flows freely in my veins
Spreading it’s hatred and disease
Into every bit of my lungs

And this voice that calls out
A weathered cry for acceptance
Trying to find forgiveness in itself

With the bathwater 

I’m built up on lies and pain and hurt. Sometimes I just want to cry out, but there’s never anyone there to hear me. This life I live is not my own. It owns me and I owe it everything. These are the thoughts I’m chained to, these are the truths that sustain me.

Standing there, hot water beating hard against my chest. Everything is quiet, I’ve tuned everything else out. Im trapped inside myself, trapped inside my head. Wondering how hot it’d have to be for me to just melt and be washed away with the suds. Wondering if anyone would even notice I was gone.

I’m not so sure it matters anymore.

Burning Me Down

I lit this match

I deserve to burn
every single broken inch
So let this fire inside me rage
Let it run rampant like a wildfire
Let it pull in the innocence and waste it like a drug
Let it burn until I’m ashes
Until this heart has stopped beating
I fueled this fire
I set myself a blaze
Orange flames rise up to engulf me
The heat swallows me whole
My lungs cry out in silence
These lips no longer speak words
Uttering such madness
Keep your water pails at bay
Please just let this fire burn me into the ground

Treading Water

I feel like I’m treading water

And the harder I fight the current
The faster the waves pull me under
Every time I take a breath
My lungs fill and I fall deeper
The surface is but a glimpse of what could have been
What should’ve been
What will never be

I can feel the sand flow through my fingers now
As the darkness starts to sway
To and fro before my burning eyes
As the last tiny bubble of air escapes my throat
I manage to release a whisper
Nothing left to say but a sweet goodbye…

She’s Afraid

She’s lost

and afraid that the sun won’t come up tomorrow

the darkness was so quiet and calm

that she fell deeper into the void

and lost herself somewhere on the way down

She’s tired

and afraid that her legs are too weak to keep moving

blinding herself

trying to keep her eyes open

even though blackened walls are all that surround her

She’s lonely

and afraid that there aren’t enough words in the world to fix her

that the quiet she so desperately needed

will be all the company she can keep