After All

I used to look back

Because those were brighter days

But that was before I sat myself down inside the chaos

Before I let myself be absorbed into the darkness that surrounded me

My heart isn’t made up of brighter days

After all

It’s made up of hostility and hatred

Shattered hopes and dying dreams

It’s as dark as the day when the sun finally burns out

I’m burning out

Spinning in circles only fans the flames

I’m so full of fury

That it drips off my brow like sweat

Fueling the anger that runs hot beneath my skin

Filling these empty voids with memories like tinder

As I set fire to all the good I’ve kept within

My heart isn’t made for brighter days

After all

Not with all the darkness that it’s soaked in

Dead Inside

Scalding water washing over me

With bare breasts and flushed skin

Hoping for pain unbearable

Needing to feel something real

Trying so hard to wash away my sadness

But I just can’t scrub hard enough

Can’t clean myself deep enough

The rot has buried it’s roots inside me

Growing slowly, thriving on my anger

Corrupting every last bit of me

Leaving dread in corners long neglected

Like an infection that spreads without care

Not repulsed by hatred and burnt flesh

It hungers for more, so I push it deeper

I cry out louder, someone hear me

But my screams are silenced

By walls I built around my lungs

Strangled by my tortured hands

Fighting back against myself

In this losing battle of dark and light

I stand here quietly as death lingers on my tongue

Burn With Me

I need someone who isn’t afraid to look into my eyes and get swallowed whole by the darkness

Someone who knows what lurks inside my shadows and doesn’t run from it

Instead taunts it to come out and play

I need to know that you’re willing to brave Hell with me

To feel your heart blister and your flesh ignite in my hand

I need someone who can endure the heat and allow themselves to be fully engulfed in my flames

Someone who isn’t rattled by promises of bittersweet agony

Instead succumbs and embraces it

I need to feel your heart flicker and catch fire

To feel you reduce to ashes and be wind swept through my fingers

 Made of Paper

There was this warmth in your eyes that could keep me wrapped up tight for hours.
And there was this fire on your tongue that lit brighter with every word you whispered to me.
I let you in and I even stoked your flames, as I loved to watch you grow.
But I wore this heart on my sleeves like I was made of paper.
When your blaze became uncontrollable it was too late to out run your embers.
There was this fire that caught hold and engulfed me, consuming every inch.
But even after the inferno had died down
and ash was all that was left of me, I still wanted you to keep me warm.