There is no light when the love’s gone
There are no better days or open doors
It’s like walking through fields of water overflowing
Each step you slip deeper
Every minute brings you closer to the edge
An abyss awaits to suck you in and bring you down
It’s there to remind you of everything you’ve loved and lost
To convince you that nothing matters because all of the shit that used to, left you behind
Waiting in the distance hoping to watch you cave in
Under the weight of it all
To drown in the very tears that held memories as they slid down your cheek
It’s dark when the light is off
And cold when the love runs out
I’m a fool
I fool myself into believing in people and love and lies
I fool myself into thinking this time will be different
This one will be different
That I’ll be different
I fool myself into listening to people and bullshit and lies
I fool myself into believing that the grass can be greener on the other side of the fence
Only to realize that I am that which creates the poison
That which grows the toxic roots that spread amongst everything I touch
I am a fool
I’ve been fooled into believing in people and lies and myself
It’s getting harder and harder to see the good in a world filled to the brim with the bad.
This evil flows freely through every crevice and crack, overfilling and overflowing into our lives as sure as sunshine.
When corrupting even the purest of hearts is so easy nowadays, where can we stand to get out of the fire?
How can we continue to walk forward when everything around us is burning to the ground?
I need help looking through the smoke, and learning to live with the heat.
Because this hell on Earth isn’t going away, it’s growing and claiming all that we love as it’s own.
Like the only tree left standing after a wildfire has swept through the forest, I stand alone.
My broken limbs and charred branches extend, despite the fire that consumes me.
The flames run through me, rushing like blood away from this beating heart.
Ashes line the forest floor, leaving nothing but trails of hurt behind me.
This fire has stolen the oxygen straight out of my lungs and ripped the words from my throat.
Lifeless and broken, I continue to stand tall.
I dig my roots deeper into the dirt, holding on for dear life .
There’s this ache
Deep beneath my flesh
That whispers sweet memories into my head
And pain into my heart
And this thought that consumes me
An everlasting reminder of sorrow
Devouring me from within
There’s this poison
That flows freely in my veins
Spreading it’s hatred and disease
Into every bit of my lungs
And this voice that calls out
A weathered cry for acceptance
Trying to find forgiveness in itself
I’ve had to do some searching
Down deep within my soul
I kept looking for that missing piece
Forgetting what made me whole
I had hid in every darkened doorway
And run from every chance at light
I’ve found every reason to be angry
And always picked a fight
I let myself believe I was the victim
Even though I was usually in the wrong
I can’t believe I let it happen
Especially for so long
But life has taught me lessons
Ones I’d heard but never learned
That things do not come easy
Only with work can they be earned
So search my soul I did
And my heart spilled out
For once I sat and listened to its words
Finally understanding what this life’s about
So today I start living
Forgetting all that try to drag me down
Staying afloat in this crazy ocean of emotions
Without the fear that I will drown
I am afraid to lose those that I love
So I stopped feeling love
I am afraid of getting to close
So I keep my distance
I fear death
So I never really live
I fear the unknown
So I never believe
I hate living this lie
So I sugar coat my own truth
I hate my truth
So I keep living my fucking lie
I am afraid of my own fears
So I close my eyes and hide
You pick, pick, pick until all the meat is off the bones. Until I have been wore so thin that I am practically invisible. You see right through me, as if I were only a ghost. Maybe I am, maybe I am merely a shadow of someone I used to be. Something I was never meant to be. So you whittle away at my existence, slowly. I close my eyes when I feel the end come near. Not a sight to see, nor a sound to hear. Only a hand to hold, as I am gently pulled into the dark. Some ones shadow will I be no more.