Consumption

There’s this ache
Deep beneath my flesh
That whispers sweet memories into my head
And pain into my heart

And this thought that consumes me
An everlasting reminder of sorrow
Devouring me from within

There’s this poison
That flows freely in my veins
Spreading it’s hatred and disease
Into every bit of my lungs

And this voice that calls out
A weathered cry for acceptance
Trying to find forgiveness in itself

Soul Searching

I’ve had to do some searching
Down deep within my soul
I kept looking for that missing piece
Forgetting what made me whole
I had hid in every darkened doorway
And run from every chance at light
I’ve found every reason to be angry
And always picked a fight
I let myself believe I was the victim
Even though I was usually in the wrong
I can’t believe I let it happen
Especially for so long
But life has taught me lessons
Ones I’d heard but never learned
That things do not come easy
Only with work can they be earned
So search my soul I did
And my heart spilled out
For once I sat and listened to its words
Finally understanding what this life’s about
So today I start living
Forgetting all that try to drag me down
Staying afloat in this crazy ocean of emotions
Without the fear that I will drown

Fears

I am afraid to lose those that I love
So I stopped feeling love
I am afraid of getting to close
So I keep my distance
I fear death
So I never really live
I fear the unknown
So I never believe
I hate living this lie
So I sugar coat my own truth
I hate my truth
So I keep living my fucking lie
I am afraid of my own fears
So I close my eyes and hide

No More

You pick, pick, pick until all the meat is off the bones. Until I have been wore so thin that I am practically invisible. You see right through me, as if I were only a ghost. Maybe I am, maybe I am merely a shadow of someone I used to be. Something I was never meant to be. So you whittle away at my existence, slowly. I close my eyes when I feel the end come near. Not a sight to see, nor a sound to hear. Only a hand to hold, as I am gently pulled into the dark. Some ones shadow will I be no more.