I am simply looking for disaster
behind every smile I see
in every single corner
hiding in the dark
waiting for me to stumble
hoping that I will fall
to break into my loneliness
to live this lie you see
ducking under madness
buried deep within me

I am just another catastrophe
a perfect little wrecking ball
crashing through this skin
like a shattered frame
to cut open healing wounds
blood red scent on the hardwood
footprints leading me back
behind make shift walls
soaking up the tear drop
as it hits after it falls

I am committing another mistake
all while remaining innocent
neglectful of my future
breaking pieces off of myself
to syphon life into my dreams
to get caught up in this mess
drifting into scenes of grey
skies crash into my hand
burning my eyes from my face
as my ashes expand

I am exiting this holocaust
with all my lives intact
underneath this state of shock
running from the dark
lighting fire to the dirt
creating havoc wear I stand
decadent demeanor worn above my head
lighted, slighted, never looking back
disappearing from all of this
sinking deep into the black


All those times that I had broken, I held myself together by a stitch.
So I pulled tighter on those stitches, thoroughly securing all my seams.
I have patched each and every hole, all those tiny tears and rips.
I may not be all new and shiny, but I am once again complete.
Pieced together with broken hearts, tortured souls, and battered flesh.
One beautiful, magnificent handmade piece of patchwork art that is myself.

~heart & soul~