But A Rope

Your words are but a rope

a means for you to pull me in

and you’ve done just that

again and again

and again…

Dangling me on a string

for the ugly world to see

in this simple instance

as I pretend to not be me

Your smile is but a knife

one that cuts clean through my flesh

that drains my bleeding heart

until there is nothing left

hungry eyes

I’ll open these eyes that have been blinded
From all that I’ve not wanted to see
Behind your facade, I have been hiding
Hoping for more than I knew it would be
So blindly lead into the fire
Without as much as a fight or a fuss
But even I have grown weary and tired
No longer in you, can I trust
So I’ll put out these flames with my teardrops
As I lie here broken and blue
Bombarded by hate and by heartache
I’ll drown in my sorrows for you

 

Forbidden Fruits

What is it with me

and forbidden fruits?

The chase

The waiting

This game ends in despair

Just damaged

Battered and bruised

Toxic, abused

The ever falling pear

Catching whispers

Silently spoken reveals

Emotional tyrant

The jump

with no net between myself and the ground

The tragic run around

Building smoke riddled fires

From hopeless desires

All from the face of deceit

Fruits of our labors

Never paying off

Rotting away slowly under the burning sun

In the heat

consumed by this fire within

Without you

Always without you

I fall

I run, jump and fall

To a love

Desperation

To my death

No more

Nothing left after all

Digging Graves

I’ve been looking through blind eyes

trying to see what isn’t there

reaching out into the blackness

with these tired arms

trying to grab onto something solid

something real out of seemingly thin air

but there is nothing here

my bloody lips attempt to whisper

sweet nothings into the dark

but with no one there to hear them

there seems to be no point

I long for the light

in a world were I am surrounded by so much pain

healing is not an option

so this is where I fear I’ll stay

drowning in this darkness

filling up these heavy lungs

rotting on the inside

like poison on my tongue

dry eyes fill my memories

not a word left for me to say

digging my grave deeper

to hide beneath this dirt

to suffer until my heart stops

and these veins have bled themselves dry

no hope left to hold on to

I am much better off this way

Hesitation

my heart is hesitant

to move on to something new

it’s hard to trust the unknown

seemingly too good to be true

I’ve examined every angle

and memorized your words by heart

reading into every line you wrote me

never believing them from the start

maybe I’m being hasty

releasing negativity galore

or maybe I’m just used to being used

and nothing more

I’d like to believe in something

and I’d like him to show me how

but nothing seems to ring true in my heart

seems stinking fishy to me right now

hopefully I am just crazy

everything I think is wrong is really right

please prove to me you’re different

let this heavy heart and teary eye

once again believe in the fight

– LacieJay –

Love Lingers

Love lingers
On the tip of your tongue
The stench of it washing off slowly
Almost making it unbearable
To open your eyes

Love lingers
In your heart
In the holes in which it has burrowed
Life seeping out behind it
Oozing out of every orifice

Love lingers
On these hands that once held him
Under blue waters
Forgetting his touch
And reliving his kiss

And love lingers
In my guilt
It lingers in my blood
Stinging my heart with every pass by
Killing me slowly

And soon after,
will this love too, die

- LacieJay -

Perfectly Honest

To be perfectly honest

Happiness and I conflict

Another blow over my shoulder

My heart fails to persist

 

To be perfectly truthful

I never thought it’d last

Never thought he’d fix me

Nor did I forget my broken past

 

To be perfectly candid

It’s been like any other day

But just like every other hopeful

This one didn’t stay

 

To be perfectly forthright

I’m surprised the sun did shine

Even if only for a day

But no worries, I’ll be just fine

You Said

Live in the moment, you said

As I lie here dying

Say what you must, you said

So with my last breath

I whispered your name

My first death

One of many

Metaphorically speaking

You only live once, you said

But I’ve seen too much already

You live what you learn, you said

I’ve learned heartbreak a plenty

The battlegrounds of life

My first loss

One of many

Seasoned vet in the art of love and war

You will always be here, you said

As you were walking away

You’ll never really be far, you said

In my heart you will stay

I’ll keep your memory

My first love

One of many

To love true, is to hold on forever

Acid Love

It felt like I was melting

Dripping acid on my heart

As every word you swore to me

Slowly tore my world apart

I died in every instance

When you placed your hand in mine

And every kiss you gave me

was a drop of poison in my wine

My wounds, they grew deeper

As your lies within me spread

Carved themselves throughout me

Inserting these visions in my head

I have died and gone to hell

In these fires that you tend

And this decrepit love of mine

Has nothing left of it to mend