Through the Smoke

It’s getting harder and harder to see the good in a world filled to the brim with the bad.

This evil flows freely through every crevice and crack, overfilling and overflowing into our lives as sure as sunshine.

When corrupting even the purest of hearts is so easy nowadays, where can we stand to get out of the fire?

How can we continue to walk forward when everything around us is burning to the ground?

I need help looking through the smoke, and learning to live with the heat.

Because this hell on Earth isn’t going away, it’s growing and claiming all that we love as it’s own.

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So many times before

And the demon came a calling
Like so many times before
He tried to pull me under
He tried to hold me down
But this time was different
This time I stood my ground
I stared into his eyes
Felt his fire burn hot upon my skin
But this time I was stronger
I refused to let him in
The demon came a calling
Like so many times before
But this time I saw him coming
And my soul I would not give
I won’t give up that easy
I will never let him win
I will fight until the end
When there’s no more life for me to live

into the night

As I sit here wondering, pondering
All alone my mind is wandering
Thinking thoughts of regret and sorrow
Knowing that my shitty today
Will turn into a shittier tomorrow
Holding tight under my cloak of black
Hoping hell has a tunnel back
But I fear I’m stuck inside these fiery tombs
Drowning my lungs in the burning fumes
Losing faith in men unseen
Even death couldn’t make me clean
Thoughts lost in dark, I’m losing light
Seems my world is engulfed by night
Hatred brews in this mind of mine
And I lose touch from time to time
I let it slither under my skin
It eats me up from outside in
I wish my fears would somehow fade
So I could forget the mistakes I’ve made
But this hell within has its grip so tight
That not even hope could make this right
I think this is it,
I may have lost the fight
All that’s left is to drift off into the night

A dream within a dream

I am awake in this dream

once just a dream within a dream

now I can see

what before I couldn’t

I’ve seen but can’t un see

the things that have been hidden

hiding behind my eyes

they disguise themselves

no they hide in a disguise

 

to wake within a dream

unable to be what is to be

I have finally seen

what has always been meant

for me to see

I’ve felt the hand of hell

and it presses hot upon my skin

let me in he says,

let me in, now let me in

 

no longer dreaming while I sleep

for I awoke

from within this slumber

I was but a dreamer

and in that dream

I was but a number

Just the one who holds the truth

in that dream made up of lies

and I realize

my sleeping has grown weary

and my eyes have grown teary

but no longer do I fear

this dreamer behind these eyes

Love In Death

She lies there and listens to the foot steps getting closer.  There’s a sudden flash of darkness underneath the doorway.  Frightened and alone she crawls under her bed.  The sound of his boots on the hardwood get closer, louder.  They sound so close the fear begins to sink in under her skin.  The door opens ever so slowly, without a sound.  She watches from under the bed as he walks around it.  She is silent.  Holding her breath with all of her strength, knowing that if he finds her it will be her last.  He doesn’t stay long, continuing his search down the hall in her brother’s room.

She listens.  Waiting until the sound of each step gets further away. Breathing out, she catches a scream before it makes it past her lips.  Crawling out from under that mattress she has a plan.
Her window is open a crack, so she crawls quietly over to the sill and pulls her shaken body up.  As she peers out through the glass, something catches her eye. Unsteadily she turns around gripping tightly to the window sill to find the man standing in her doorway.  He dashes across the room as she tries to climb out the window.  When all of a sudden the room goes black.

A feeling of cold washes over her, opening her eyes to nothing but darkness.  The air is thick and pungent.  The smell of death is in the vicinity but without a light to see, there is no telling what direction it is coming from.  She tries to move but her hands are bound.  Is this it?  Is this the end for her?  She begins to kick furiously, hoping someone will hear her.  What was that sound? Her heart starts pumping at the sound of footsteps.  The light comes on and her eyes close.  It is so bright that it stings.  She reopens them slowly letting them adjust to the light so she can see who is there.

A shadowy figure covers her like an umbrella blocking out the sun.  All she can see is the fire in his eyes, and she knows now that this is her hell.  He bends down over her, his face still enveloped by his shadow.  Reaching out he touches her face with rough gritty hands.  The smell of dirt and rusted metal on his fingertips.  Horrified, she turns her head away.  His gentle touch quickly turns into anger as he grabs her face with his ogre like hand and pulls her up within an inch of his.  She closed her eyes once more.  His fiery breath warming her neck, and the sickly sweet smell coming out of his mouth made her gag.

The smell of infection riddled her sinuses, throwing her off guard.  He drops her back to the floor.  As she hits she rolls onto her side.  Her view no longer blocked from the light, she can see everything in the room.  Bodies of young girls strewn across the floor, naked and bloodied.  A lifeless vision of what is to be her future as well.  The man laughs at her as if this is all a big joke.  She wasn’t amused, she was scared half to death.  By the looks of it she wasn’t far from it either.  He grabs her feet and drags her through the bodies. She screams as she bumps into each young tortured woman.  Never had she imagined things like this existed, such a naive girl.  He takes her into an empty room, well empty besides a lamp and a single hook hanging from the ceiling.  He forces her to undress, she’s resistant all the way through.  He hits her, knocking her to the ground.  Grabs her by her ankles and wraps a rope snugly around them.

Lifting her up, he places her ankles up onto the hook and left her hanging upside down.  At this point her tears have stopped flowing and her hopes are forgotten.  She knows the inevitability of the situation so she doesn’t fight it.  The man pulls out his knife and grazes her bare skin with it.  Teasing her  and taunting her.  She’s ready, she’s never been more ready for anything in her life.  Relief flows over her as he makes his first slice.  Slowly and precise he cuts under her left breast.  Using her blood like finger paints to draw hearts on her stomach.  He holds her hand while he makes his next cut, as if they were in it together.

They were in it together, in a sense.  This moment was theirs and no one elses.  A memorable one at that.  Her complexion fades but her heart still beats.  Not for much longer though, her time is almost here.  This is usually his favorite part, watching the life fade from their eyes, but hers doesn’t fade.  Her eyes are brighter and more lovely than ever.  She is ready for this.  Gripping onto his hand as if forever was seconds away, she whispers goodbye.  He kisses her cheek  and whispers it back.  He gracefully places the blade against her neck and slides it across.  The blood flows down her chin and over her lips and she had never been as beautiful as in this moment.

Forbidden Fruits

What is it with me

and forbidden fruits?

The chase

The waiting

This game ends in despair

Just damaged

Battered and bruised

Toxic, abused

The ever falling pear

Catching whispers

Silently spoken reveals

Emotional tyrant

The jump

with no net between myself and the ground

The tragic run around

Building smoke riddled fires

From hopeless desires

All from the face of deceit

Fruits of our labors

Never paying off

Rotting away slowly under the burning sun

In the heat

consumed by this fire within

Without you

Always without you

I fall

I run, jump and fall

To a love

Desperation

To my death

No more

Nothing left after all

Inferno

I have been to hell and back

holding fire in my hand

Ashes burn on deadened skin

As I find no will to stand

No will to overcome this

My sordid burning heart

Never once belonged beside him

Nor a happy place to start

With blackened smoky lungs

I try to take another breath

Until all the fight in me is gone

So I will hide inside my death

My own inferno, burning ever long

– LacieJay –