Pulling the Wool

Pull the wool over my eyes
I’ve seen too much already
Try and hide me from the truth
because the lies are flowing steady

It sounds too true to be good
These words I’ve yet to speak
But they fight to be let free
So I hold my tongue against my cheek

I will hold them in and hold them down
And not allow them to flow free
Because all the bad that I have done
Can never equal the good still left in me

A dream within a dream

I am awake in this dream

once just a dream within a dream

now I can see

what before I couldn’t

I’ve seen but can’t un see

the things that have been hidden

hiding behind my eyes

they disguise themselves

no they hide in a disguise

 

to wake within a dream

unable to be what is to be

I have finally seen

what has always been meant

for me to see

I’ve felt the hand of hell

and it presses hot upon my skin

let me in he says,

let me in, now let me in

 

no longer dreaming while I sleep

for I awoke

from within this slumber

I was but a dreamer

and in that dream

I was but a number

Just the one who holds the truth

in that dream made up of lies

and I realize

my sleeping has grown weary

and my eyes have grown teary

but no longer do I fear

this dreamer behind these eyes

Shhh…

I am my biggest secret

you will never know who I am

You will never hold all the answers

within the palm of your broken hand

 

broken smiles on fake ass faces

like the one I used to show

the face of all those people

that I thought I used to know

 

truths you could never fathom

lies you’ve always feared were true

stories I sold as memories

ones I never really knew

 

Hiding inside the shadows

trusting the light to never show

but in the darkness

my lies will only grow

 

Go ahead and try

figure me out, you will not

because everything I am 

is everything that I’ve got

 

And…

 

I am my biggest secret

You can never know who I am

none of my broken answers

will fit perfectly in your hands

Paper Thin

My walls are paper thin 

even though I am made of glass

All these things I hold within

can still knock me on my ass

 

There are no words to help me cope

with all the horrors I have seen

Even if I’m filled with hope

this slate will not wipe clean

 

Some memories stand still

even as the days roll by

Some continue to make me ill

No need to ask me why

 

These thoughts that fill my mind

will remain until I let them go

No longer pretending to be blind

So here, I let my feelings show

Open door

I open the door of which I’ve hid behind, releasing me from this hell.  I let myself out into the world to find peace.  A peace that can’t be found inside my head, nor inside my heart.  Such a peace that once it washes over me I feel clean.  I feel as if it has sunk in, beyond skin deep, but deeper into the blackness of my soul.  Filling the inner emptiness with Serenity.  No longer empty, no longer angry, no longer in pain.  To stand here looking into the vast world before me with new eyes.  Never to look back at that which has held me in place for this long.  Never looking back.

Hold Me

In the dark
In this night
I let this dream slip through my fingers
As I give up my fight
No holding back
Not running for cover
This blackness calls me
And no other
I shan’t try to hide
I won’t duck and run
I will let it come
Let it have its fun
What I can’t see now
Will appear as my eyes adjust
So I let it all sink in
In my fears I trust
To hold me down
To hold me back
To pull me under
This shroud of black