I feel it

The weight

Crushing my ribs

Chest cracks

Collapsing my lungs

Swallowing blood

Choking it down

Heart breaks

Ice cold hollow

Empty space

Under the weight

I am

lights out

There is no light when the love’s gone

There are no better days or open doors

It’s like walking through fields of water overflowing

Each step you slip deeper

Every minute brings you closer to the edge

An abyss awaits to suck you in and bring you down

It’s there to remind you of everything you’ve loved and lost

To convince you that nothing matters because all of the shit that used to, left you behind

Waiting in the distance hoping to watch you cave in

Under the weight of it all

To drown in the very tears that held memories as they slid down your cheek

It’s dark when the light is off

And cold when the love runs out

Fool me once

I’m a fool

I fool myself into believing in people and love and lies

I fool myself into thinking this time will be different

This one will be different

That I’ll be different

I fool myself into listening to people and bullshit and lies

I fool myself into believing that the grass can be greener on the other side of the fence

Only to realize that I am that which creates the poison

That which grows the toxic roots that spread amongst everything I touch

I am a fool

I’ve been fooled into believing in people and lies and myself

Infection

The infection rages

As the pain seers through my flesh like a wildfire
Ripping every tree in the forest limb from limb
Burning alive from the inside out

This infection grows
As this pain gains momentum, tearing through my veins like a twister
Ripping every home and loved one away from the foundation
Leaving only death and destruction behind

The infection kills
As the pain begins to seep into my blood like a virus
Slowly draining every drop of strength left in me
Nothing left but a hollow shell

In my head

Somewhere along the line I gave up
I gave in
I created a room
That I could lock my head and heart in
I built up these walls with unbreakable stone
Knowing that self preservation meant being alone
Sitting here lonely, this love gathering dust
Drifting away in my tears
Surely becoming covered in rust
Hoping one day that these walls come crashing down
Before these fears hold me under
And I slowly drown

This…

This heart’s been left lonely
Tossed out in the cold
Nothing left to warm me
Nor a hand to hold
My silence is deceiving
As it lies in wait
Deciding its worth
What lies with my fate
But out here in the cold
Where I sit and suffer
Another heart grown colder
Just another bitter lover

Embers

This sky is on fire

the clouds are burning down

fighting thoughts of degradation

leaving nothing in these hands

just soot stained fingerprints

around your forlorn throat

life outside you

lost within you

deep inside the fold

turned outside in

and inside out

it’s all the same

grasping onto everything

the wind perpetrates the embers

wreaking havoc on your soul

nothing left of your cooling ashes

nothing left to make you whole

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Content

As much as one can blame the sun for burning up it’s atmosphere, one could blame the moon for keeping it cold and dreary. I am just thankful I have yet to burn to death or freeze into a glacier for you to slam your ships on. Either way I am finally content.

The last time

This is the last tear that falls for you
The last one to pass this lid
The last time I fall for this
Without a net to catch me in
This is the last lie that will ever hurt me
The last one to flow over your lips
The last time I believe your words
Without the taste of poison in your kiss
This is the last word I will have spoken
The last one directed to you
The last time my heart will be broken
While you’re off loving somebody new