Friends or foes?

I am distant. I have been distancing myself from people who appear not to even notice. From people who make it painfully obvious that they don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. I need to learn how to let go. I hold on to too many of the wrong people, for far too many reasons. I keep them around for what, I ask myself often. All of my so called friendships are so one-sided that it disturbs me that I even let it happen. But I know why I do, I know why even after I’ve let them go before, I pull them back in. I do it because I hope that I am wrong, I hope that they have just gotten busy with their lives and temporarily forgot a friend. Although, I know this isn’t the case. I know these people pretty well, and they are very self centered and vain. I pick shitty people to be around. I have shitty so called friends. I wish I wasn’t so lonely all the time, maybe my need for some kind of friendly interaction wouldn’t keep drawing me towards these negative people. It starts to wear on me and depresses me. I just want it to stop. What I can’t understand is I would do a lot of things for some of these people if they needed me to and I can’t even get a simple response from them. Am I that much of a waste of time and space that even responding to me sucks them dry? Oh well, I guess its not something I should bother to even think about.

Hanging On

My mind is shaky
I’m hanging over a cliff
Trying my best to hold onto the crumbling wall
Just dangling in the breeze
Hoping that the gentlest of winds doesn’t blow me over the edge
But I am fragile
Even more cracked than these broken rocks I grip tight to
Digging my nails into the dirt
Scratching at my death
Wondering for what or whom am I still holding on for
Letting go slowly
I lift my fingers one by one
Loosening my grip on my shattered dreams
I crumble and come crashing down to the bottom of the pit
Forgetting for a second
Just my lonely moment
All that was ever meant to be