I feel like I’m treading water
And the harder I fight the current
The faster the waves pull me under
Every time I take a breath
My lungs fill and I fall deeper
The surface is but a glimpse of what could have been
What should’ve been
What will never be
I can feel the sand flow through my fingers now
As the darkness starts to sway
To and fro before my burning eyes
As the last tiny bubble of air escapes my throat
I manage to release a whisper
Nothing left to say but a sweet goodbye…
She’s lost
and afraid that the sun won’t come up tomorrow
the darkness was so quiet and calm
that she fell deeper into the void
and lost herself somewhere on the way down
She’s tired
and afraid that her legs are too weak to keep moving
blinding herself
trying to keep her eyes open
even though blackened walls are all that surround her
She’s lonely
and afraid that there aren’t enough words in the world to fix her
that the quiet she so desperately needed
will be all the company she can keep
As I stare into the black hole, I fall deeper
Farther into the abyss
Into the nether, the nothingness
I crawl aimlessly inside the darkness
While I struggle with my own sins
Fearful of a messy battle, a losing fight
But still I’m hopeful, that I’ll find a hidden light
I am lost so deep in the dark that no amount of light could bring me home. No amount of faith could bring me peace. No amount of love could overcome this hate that builds inside of me. So lost that this path takes me in circles. It’s like playing a horror movie on an unending repeat. Torturing me over and over and over. I’m dying on the inside, despite the smile that graces my face. I am almost content hiding inside this never-ending darkness. I feel whole inside this unhappy place.
Tonight, my head beats
Louder than my heart
Slowing, silently giving up
So many wasted moments
Too many tragically lost years
So tomorrow, I give up again
Giving in to all my fears
My broken hopes
And diminished dreams
I let go of faith
As it remains unseen
But for tonight,
My head beats
Louder than my heart
There’s a ghost in the mirror
Someone you may not see
But she’s there every time I look
Staring back at me
An empty image
Hiding behind the looking glass
A darkened glimmer of an afterthought
A memory that has passed
The light within her dims
And the darkness begins to grow
As the ghost inside the mirror fades
My reflection starts to show
My mind is shaky
I’m hanging over a cliff
Trying my best to hold onto the crumbling wall
Just dangling in the breeze
Hoping that the gentlest of winds doesn’t blow me over the edge
But I am fragile
Even more cracked than these broken rocks I grip tight to
Digging my nails into the dirt
Scratching at my death
Wondering for what or whom am I still holding on for
Letting go slowly
I lift my fingers one by one
Loosening my grip on my shattered dreams
I crumble and come crashing down to the bottom of the pit
Forgetting for a second
Just my lonely moment
All that was ever meant to be
