Map

I have looked
And I have tried to find
All that there is to see
But searching places
On a map not found
Are proving difficult for me
I can seek
But never find
Things that are not meant to be
So try as I might
Without hope on hand
To break this door without a key
Only breaking faith
Like the breaking waves
Of a vaste and dirty sea
Lost beneath the sand
In the sea unseen
Just a lonely remnant of what once was me

Loss of words

I absolutely hate when the perfect combination of words pops up in your head in the most inconvenient of times. I was in the bathroom, starting to wash my face, and I thought of the prefect line for a poem. I thought to myself that I would remember it when I got out, but I didn’t. I know it was great, and it pisses me off that I lost it. I hope it comes back to me in thought tonight as I sleep and I am able to remember it in the morning. I really hate when a thought evades me like that. Like I am expected to stop the world around me in order to write something down. What nonsense is that?  Oh well, here’s hoping it comes back to me…

In my veins

I hate that the one I truly love 

cannot be around

I hate that this touch is toxic

and to that poison I am bound

I hate that this love has gone sour

like milk left out of the fridge

I hate how your love compels me

to leap blinded over a bridge

I hate how all this time has disappeared

and yet this love still shows

I hate how this love still exists

but mostly that every day it still grows

Paper Thin

My walls are paper thin 

even though I am made of glass

All these things I hold within

can still knock me on my ass

 

There are no words to help me cope

with all the horrors I have seen

Even if I’m filled with hope

this slate will not wipe clean

 

Some memories stand still

even as the days roll by

Some continue to make me ill

No need to ask me why

 

These thoughts that fill my mind

will remain until I let them go

No longer pretending to be blind

So here, I let my feelings show

The Whisper In The Wind

the cold lingers

her heart pulls it in close

pretending not to see

through the lies

crying on the inside

letting go once again

tearing herself apart

for things she cannot change

convincing no one she’s ok

although she tries

my god does she try

someone light a fire

to warm that heart of hers

relieve her

from this hell that she serves

holding onto barbs

as the blood drips from her hand

grasping for something

that no one seems to understand

shrouded by her own reflection

no more shadows on the ground

the light that doesn’t guide her

has helped her lose her way

taking hold of the icy chill

the whispers in the wind deceive you

she’s nowhere to be found

My Days

I spend my days thinking

of things I should’ve said

Of things that I can not forget

They keep running through my head

 

I spend my weeks wishing

some people would someday change

That something would make them see

their priorities need be rearranged

 

I’ve spent my years wondering

just where I have gone wrong

How I can change my future

how I can again be strong

 

I could spend a lifetime hoping

for things that may never come true

Or I could spend that same time

changing my point of view