There was this warmth in your eyes that could keep me wrapped up tight for hours.
And there was this fire on your tongue that lit brighter with every word you whispered to me.
I let you in and I even stoked your flames, as I loved to watch you grow.
But I wore this heart on my sleeves like I was made of paper.
When your blaze became uncontrollable it was too late to out run your embers.
There was this fire that caught hold and engulfed me, consuming every inch.
But even after the inferno had died down
and ash was all that was left of me, I still wanted you to keep me warm.
These arduous memories of you linger like stagnant smoke in a chilly room
I try to break through them,
breathing warm words into the air but they remain
They’ve stamped themselves onto my heart the way nicotine stains the teeth
Your corruption flows through my veins changing me into something bitter, something rotten
Only I hold the antidote, but it’s lost, tangled within the roots you planted deep inside the nether that is my mind.
I’m just not sure I’m quite strong enough yet to cut this poison out, so I continue to let it steep.
I feel like I’m treading water
And the harder I fight the current
The faster the waves pull me under
Every time I take a breath
My lungs fill and I fall deeper
The surface is but a glimpse of what could have been
What should’ve been
What will never be
I can feel the sand flow through my fingers now
As the darkness starts to sway
To and fro before my burning eyes
As the last tiny bubble of air escapes my throat
I manage to release a whisper
Nothing left to say but a sweet goodbye…
This cage that holds me isn’t made of steel
It’s not made with cement or wood
It isn’t held closed with locks or welded doors
These bars I’m held behind are invisible to you by design
I stepped into this cell willingly
I built these walls up high
With intentions, not bricks
I built these walls tight
With love, not glue
I don’t know anymore if this is life or punishment
I keep myself captive
Under lock and key
This cage that holds me is the only thing that keeps my feet off the ground
It keeps me swinging in the wind
Not knowing which way I should be going
This cage keeps me miles from freedom
But someday I will let myself go
So I can set myself free
You left me bleeding
Standing naked in the street
Crying out for you
Bearing my soul to all who could see
I stood there broken
Unable to make a move
Unable to open my eyes
Afraid that the rain had washed you away
Afraid that you had disappeared
Right before my eyes
But you remain here
Tormenting my heart still
Breaking what little is left of my free will
You are the sound of my heart beat
And the taste that lingers on my tongue
You are the silence in a crowded room
You are the crack in my voice
And the breath on my bathroom mirror
You are the water that cleanses me
You are the condensation on my window
And the daisy in my front yard
You are the flight in birds
You are the smile on my face
And the hurt in my chest
You are the confusion in my head
You are everything