Made of Paper

There was this warmth in your eyes that could keep me wrapped up tight for hours.
And there was this fire on your tongue that lit brighter with every word you whispered to me.
I let you in and I even stoked your flames, as I loved to watch you grow.
But I wore this heart on my sleeves like I was made of paper.
When your blaze became uncontrollable it was too late to out run your embers.
There was this fire that caught hold and engulfed me, consuming every inch.
But even after the inferno had died down
and ash was all that was left of me, I still wanted you to keep me warm.

 

 

Infection

The infection rages

As the pain seers through my flesh like a wildfire
Ripping every tree in the forest limb from limb
Burning alive from the inside out

This infection grows
As this pain gains momentum, tearing through my veins like a twister
Ripping every home and loved one away from the foundation
Leaving only death and destruction behind

The infection kills
As the pain begins to seep into my blood like a virus
Slowly draining every drop of strength left in me
Nothing left but a hollow shell

Everything

You are the sound of my heart beat
And the taste that lingers on my tongue
You are the silence in a crowded room

You are the crack in my voice
And the breath on my bathroom mirror
You are the water that cleanses me

You are the condensation on my window
And the daisy in my front yard
You are the flight in birds

You are the smile on my face
And the hurt in my chest
You are the confusion in my head

You are everything

In my head

Somewhere along the line I gave up
I gave in
I created a room
That I could lock my head and heart in
I built up these walls with unbreakable stone
Knowing that self preservation meant being alone
Sitting here lonely, this love gathering dust
Drifting away in my tears
Surely becoming covered in rust
Hoping one day that these walls come crashing down
Before these fears hold me under
And I slowly drown

Broken Wounds

I let shit fester
And I dwell on things that hurt my heart
Like a broken wound
That I tear open and let bleed
Over and over again
I can wipe the blood away
But the cut remains
Still aching, slowly infecting me
So I break myself down
Like an unwanted box
I’m empty on the inside and out
Tear me apart
Made up of reused pieces
Damaged lungs and a broken heart
Even though it still hurts
I will rip off the scab
To re-open the wounds
Because that’s all that I know
So I will let shit fester
And I will dwell on things that hurt my heart

Again…

I am losing grip again
starting to slip again
I trip over my words
over and under
under and over
my thoughts flow 
like water through a sieve
drip
   drip
      drip
I am but a blip 
in the radar
just a ship amongst the sea
and I am losing grip again
starting to slip again
beginning to tear again
to rip apart my seams
nothing
is 
 as 
  it
seems
my lips say nothing
until I am stripped of everything

Alone

I recall past memories 

as if they weren’t all that far away

as if I could reach out and grab them

just thoughts of yesterday

but they aren’t

they’ve slipped away 

like water through the sands

they have drifted into oblivion

so now, here alone I stand

Let’s get this shit over with

I’m the perfect little pin cushion
I’m a self loathing fucking masochist
I play a dangerous game
Of cat and mouse
With my finger on the trigger
Barrel pressed against my head
I do it for the rush
For the feeling that Makes me feel alive
I do it to get my blood running
So I can again step back in line
Every person is lost
But I’ve yet to find my way
I stand still with your needles in my hands
What’s one more?
I do it for the pain
It gives me reason to survive
I feel closer to death while I’m still alive
So for you I’ll be the perfect little pin cushion
You can worry not
I’ll accept your pain with pleasure
Because this pain is all I’ve got