I reach for things I’m unsure I’m deserving of
And that’s when I stumble and fall
I long for a connection with someone
Possibly any one at all
I feel like I am drifting off into the distance
Losing touch with the things that anchor me to shore
Losing faith in those around me
Knowing I need something more

Catching Fire

Cut me open and let my demons flow out
Bleeding words onto the page like spilled ink
Writing and rewriting these memories in my head
Broken promises cast long lasting shadows
Keeping my scars hidden from the world
Voices calling out to me from the darkness
Trying to convince me to come play in the chaos yet again
Thinking in circles, spinning out of control
Fighting with these feelings of insignificance
Tearing flesh hastily from my bones
To let these thoughts out
The fiends dance on the tip of my tongue
Trying to tell me how to speak
Gloom envelopes me in its blanket
Keeping me safe inside the warmth
This heart is not a flicker but a flame
I let myself catch fire
To keep the world from judging me

Wandering

Sometimes I find myself wandering
Lost somewhere between my memories of now and then
Getting stuck in the nether of false remembrance
Falling back in and out of love again with the thoughts of you
Of us
I drift off course at the sounds of whispers
I swear they sound just like you
I can’t let them let me stray any further from the truth
Shake it off and turn back before I’m in too deep
Before I’m swallowed whole in the abyss
Even after safety has found me
I find myself wandering
Back to those thoughts of you

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She Loved

She would never tell him
how much she needed him,
how much she missed holding him.
She couldn’t tell him
how much she still loved him.
It had taken him so long to begin healing
and she knew it wasn’t fair to come along
and rip back open those wounds.
So she suffered in silence.
She suffered every time he smiled
and said hello as a regular passerby.
She suffered so he didn’t have to.
She loved.

Tonight I’ll Sleep Silent

Tonight I’ll sleep silent
While a treacherous storm awaits
swooping down to take everything
Lifting it off of the ground
Shaking me, rattling me
The wind howls
As the rain thrashes against the panes
The breath pulled straight from my lungs
In this frigid air
Surrounded by dirt and rubble
Left in the eye of the storm
Amongst the wreckage am I
Still sleeping, still dreaming
Silent whispers lingering
From the calm before