Consumption

There’s this ache
Deep beneath my flesh
That whispers sweet memories into my head
And pain into my heart

And this thought that consumes me
An everlasting reminder of sorrow
Devouring me from within

There’s this poison
That flows freely in my veins
Spreading it’s hatred and disease
Into every bit of my lungs

And this voice that calls out
A weathered cry for acceptance
Trying to find forgiveness in itself

With the bathwater 

I’m built up on lies and pain and hurt. Sometimes I just want to cry out, but there’s never anyone there to hear me. This life I live is not my own. It owns me and I owe it everything. These are the thoughts I’m chained to, these are the truths that sustain me.

Standing there, hot water beating hard against my chest. Everything is quiet, I’ve tuned everything else out. Im trapped inside myself, trapped inside my head. Wondering how hot it’d have to be for me to just melt and be washed away with the suds. Wondering if anyone would even notice I was gone.

I’m not so sure it matters anymore.

Infection

The infection rages

As the pain seers through my flesh like a wildfire
Ripping every tree in the forest limb from limb
Burning alive from the inside out

This infection grows
As this pain gains momentum, tearing through my veins like a twister
Ripping every home and loved one away from the foundation
Leaving only death and destruction behind

The infection kills
As the pain begins to seep into my blood like a virus
Slowly draining every drop of strength left in me
Nothing left but a hollow shell

Burning Me Down

I lit this match

I deserve to burn
every single broken inch
So let this fire inside me rage
Let it run rampant like a wildfire
Let it pull in the innocence and waste it like a drug
Let it burn until I’m ashes
Until this heart has stopped beating
I fueled this fire
I set myself a blaze
Orange flames rise up to engulf me
The heat swallows me whole
My lungs cry out in silence
These lips no longer speak words
Uttering such madness
Keep your water pails at bay
Please just let this fire burn me into the ground

Caged In

This cage that holds me isn’t  made of steel

It’s not made with cement or wood
It isn’t held closed with locks or welded doors
These bars I’m held behind are invisible to you by design
I stepped into this cell willingly
I built these walls up high
With intentions, not bricks
I built these walls tight
With love, not glue
I don’t know anymore if this is life or punishment
I keep myself captive
Under lock and key
This cage that holds me is the only thing that keeps my feet off the ground
It keeps me swinging in the wind
Not knowing which way I should be going
This cage keeps me miles from freedom
But someday I will let myself go
So I can set myself free