She would never tell him
how much she needed him,
how much she missed holding him.
She couldn’t tell him
how much she still loved him.
It had taken him so long to begin healing
and she knew it wasn’t fair to come along
and rip back open those wounds.
So she suffered in silence.
She suffered every time he smiled
and said hello as a regular passerby.
She suffered so he didn’t have to.
She would never tell him
Memories of you fill my head like smoke
Snuffing out lost hopes and dreams
Swirling around me in a whirlpool of chaos
And when the tear drops start to fall, they drown me
Crashing into my heart like a tidal wave
Rolling me over and under
Over and under
Just a speck of sand in an ever growing abyss of sadness
And just when I think I’ve finally swum to safety
Memories of you drag me back under
Burn down my castle
I want someone to break through my walls
I am my own sacrificial lamb
Hung myself out to dry
Breathe new life into me
Because I’m dying here
I stand under a shroud of grey skies and heartache
Waiting patiently for the rain to fall
and the dams to break
Holding my umbrella at my side
I don’t shy away from the oncoming storm
Letting it wash away my sadness
Even if just for a day
It’s getting harder and harder to see the good in a world filled to the brim with the bad.
This evil flows freely through every crevice and crack, overfilling and overflowing into our lives as sure as sunshine.
When corrupting even the purest of hearts is so easy nowadays, where can we stand to get out of the fire?
How can we continue to walk forward when everything around us is burning to the ground?
I need help looking through the smoke, and learning to live with the heat.
Because this hell on Earth isn’t going away, it’s growing and claiming all that we love as it’s own.
My demons slither
just beneath the surface
Clawing to be let out
They torment me
In hopes that I give up
Or I give in
But I’m stronger than they think
I can’t hold them at bay forever
But for now I can hold them in
There was this warmth in your eyes that could keep me wrapped up tight for hours.
And there was this fire on your tongue that lit brighter with every word you whispered to me.
I let you in and I even stoked your flames, as I loved to watch you grow.
But I wore this heart on my sleeves like I was made of paper.
When your blaze became uncontrollable it was too late to out run your embers.
There was this fire that caught hold and engulfed me, consuming every inch.
But even after the inferno had died down
and ash was all that was left of me, I still wanted you to keep me warm.
These arduous memories of you linger like stagnant smoke in a chilly room
I try to break through them,
breathing warm words into the air but they remain
They’ve stamped themselves onto my heart the way nicotine stains the teeth
Your corruption flows through my veins changing me into something bitter, something rotten
Only I hold the antidote, but it’s lost, tangled within the roots you planted deep inside the nether that is my mind.
I’m just not sure I’m quite strong enough yet to cut this poison out, so I continue to let it steep.
Like the only tree left standing after a wildfire has swept through the forest, I stand alone.
My broken limbs and charred branches extend, despite the fire that consumes me.
The flames run through me, rushing like blood away from this beating heart.
Ashes line the forest floor, leaving nothing but trails of hurt behind me.
This fire has stolen the oxygen straight out of my lungs and ripped the words from my throat.
Lifeless and broken, I continue to stand tall.
I dig my roots deeper into the dirt, holding on for dear life .
These words drag me under
While my thoughts help hold me down
Finger steadfast on the trigger
Staring down the barrel of my gun
I’m holding myself hostage
Chained to my memories
I can’t outrun these bullets
When hate is all I see