This sadness covers me like a thick fog

I can feel it sticking to my skin

Enshrined by my inner darkness set free

Whispering secrets in my own ear

As I’m the only one who’s listening

A tragedy written in blood

Bleeding through the fabric laid over my eyes

As my tears fall steadily

Washing away remnants of happy thoughts

It pulls me in deeper

Every time I try to push away

Back and forth my thoughts go

Like a game of tug of war with myself

I’ve let myself walk into the madness

Heavy in my heart

Light on my feet

Engulfed in my own chaos

Like a dark cloud wrapped around me

Injecting my fears onto people

Distancing myself from their warmth

Slipping back into this somber reality

Dead Inside

Scalding water washing over me

With bare breasts and flushed skin

Hoping for pain unbearable

Needing to feel something real

Trying so hard to wash away my sadness

But I just can’t scrub hard enough

Can’t clean myself deep enough

The rot has buried it’s roots inside me

Growing slowly, thriving on my anger

Corrupting every last bit of me

Leaving dread in corners long neglected

Like an infection that spreads without care

Not repulsed by hatred and burnt flesh

It hungers for more, so I push it deeper

I cry out louder, someone hear me

But my screams are silenced

By walls I built around my lungs

Strangled by my tortured hands

Fighting back against myself

In this losing battle of dark and light

I stand here quietly as death lingers on my tongue

She Loved

She would never tell him
how much she needed him,
how much she missed holding him.
She couldn’t tell him
how much she still loved him.
It had taken him so long to begin healing
and she knew it wasn’t fair to come along
and rip back open those wounds.
So she suffered in silence.
She suffered every time he smiled
and said hello as a regular passerby.
She suffered so he didn’t have to.
She loved.

Memories of you fill my head like smoke
Snuffing out lost hopes and dreams
Swirling around me in a whirlpool of chaos
And when the tear drops start to fall, they drown me
Crashing into my heart like a tidal wave
Rolling me over and under
Over and under
Just a speck of sand in an ever growing abyss of sadness
And just when I think I’ve finally swum to safety
Memories of you drag me back under


Wash away

I stand under a shroud of grey skies and heartache
Waiting patiently for the rain to fall
and the dams to break
Holding my umbrella at my side
I don’t shy away from the oncoming storm
Letting it wash away my sadness
Even if just for a day

Through the Smoke

It’s getting harder and harder to see the good in a world filled to the brim with the bad.

This evil flows freely through every crevice and crack, overfilling and overflowing into our lives as sure as sunshine.

When corrupting even the purest of hearts is so easy nowadays, where can we stand to get out of the fire?

How can we continue to walk forward when everything around us is burning to the ground?

I need help looking through the smoke, and learning to live with the heat.

Because this hell on Earth isn’t going away, it’s growing and claiming all that we love as it’s own.

My Demons

My demons slither
just beneath the surface
Clawing to be let out
They torment me
In hopes that I give up
Or I give in
But I’m stronger than they think
I can’t hold them at bay forever
But for now I can hold them in

 Made of Paper

There was this warmth in your eyes that could keep me wrapped up tight for hours.
And there was this fire on your tongue that lit brighter with every word you whispered to me.
I let you in and I even stoked your flames, as I loved to watch you grow.
But I wore this heart on my sleeves like I was made of paper.
When your blaze became uncontrollable it was too late to out run your embers.
There was this fire that caught hold and engulfed me, consuming every inch.
But even after the inferno had died down
and ash was all that was left of me, I still wanted you to keep me warm.



Memories of You

These arduous memories of you linger like stagnant smoke in a chilly room
I try to break through them,
breathing warm words into the air but they remain
They’ve stamped themselves onto my heart the way nicotine stains the teeth
Your corruption flows through my veins changing me into something bitter, something rotten
Only I hold the antidote, but it’s lost, tangled within the roots you planted deep inside the nether that is my mind.
I’m just not sure I’m quite strong enough yet to cut this poison out, so I continue to let it steep.