Pulling the Wool

Pull the wool over my eyes
I’ve seen too much already
Try and hide me from the truth
because the lies are flowing steady

It sounds too true to be good
These words I’ve yet to speak
But they fight to be let free
So I hold my tongue against my cheek

I will hold them in and hold them down
And not allow them to flow free
Because all the bad that I have done
Can never equal the good still left in me

Placing Blame

You can go through life denying you are the problem. Pointing fingers at everyone that sees life through clearer eyes than yours. You can keep putting blame on those that hurt you simply by speaking the truth. It is always easier to say something someone said or did was rude or hurtful, when in reality it was only the truth you never wanted to hear. You can bury yourself in self pity forever, but in the end the truth won’t change, and your denial will only become stronger. Just because you choose not to believe what is right in front of you does not mean it doesn’t exist. It is there, and it is real, and you are missing out on everything that doesn’t conform to your lie.

Waiting

So I sit here waiting

Waiting for the fall

on this lonely floor of hardwood

as I’m sifting through it all

Looking through the bullshit

Picking apart your lies

seeing beyond that make shift smile

Behind those pretty eyes

Waiting for damnation

To take me from your sins

You are the only battle

I know I could never win

Nor would I ever want to

So I will relive it all

for I know how my heart is

I will just keep waiting for the fall

Cloaked

Your shadow engulfs me like a cloak
Under which I can hide
From myself,
From the world,
From the truth of it all
Keeping me warm
Tucked under your wings
Holding me close despite everything
Lost in those words
That you speak so well
Falling asleep so calm
In the midst of a raging hell
Holding my hand tight
Despite your bitter touch
Keeping me safe
Keeping me in thought
Keeping me bound
In this place
In your arms
Under your cloak made of shadows

Untitled

I am lost here without a light

in the darkness of this night

growing ill of all the wandering

but I won’t give up without a fight

 

Although my heart is surely stressing

from the constant inner pressing

sick to death of all my pondering

and my need for second guessing

 

Simple comforts I have no need for

this winding walk has made my feet sore

to reach an end is all I’m longing

struggling within my inner core

 

No shoes to walk down roads in

this gravel has worn my soles thin

the pain I am just prolonging

slowly wearing out my own skin

 

This chance that I am taking

seems to have been in the making

of a game I am forever losing

while my faith in this is breaking

 

Lost the endless losing battle

all of the useless prattle

this game was of your choosing

but my spirit you can’t rattle

 

So I’ll walk alone within this dark

on a journey only I can embark

rubbing sticks between my hands

until a subtle flame does spark

 

Only then will I again be found

after all the traversed ground

in the blackness of these lands

I will no longer be bound

Circles

I feel like I’m running circles

Doing laps inside my head

Never imagined living this life

feeling like part of me was dead

I’ve lost so many battles

I don’t know where to begin

But I can drag myself through this

and I will walk upright again

I peer inside my inner self

so I can find my motivation

To move in any direction

to land where I fall

no pre determined destination