Pulling the Wool

Pull the wool over my eyes
I’ve seen too much already
Try and hide me from the truth
because the lies are flowing steady

It sounds too true to be good
These words I’ve yet to speak
But they fight to be let free
So I hold my tongue against my cheek

I will hold them in and hold them down
And not allow them to flow free
Because all the bad that I have done
Can never equal the good still left in me

Placing Blame

You can go through life denying you are the problem. Pointing fingers at everyone that sees life through clearer eyes than yours. You can keep putting blame on those that hurt you simply by speaking the truth. It is always easier to say something someone said or did was rude or hurtful, when in reality it was only the truth you never wanted to hear. You can bury yourself in self pity forever, but in the end the truth won’t change, and your denial will only become stronger. Just because you choose not to believe what is right in front of you does not mean it doesn’t exist. It is there, and it is real, and you are missing out on everything that doesn’t conform to your lie.

Waiting

So I sit here waiting

Waiting for the fall

on this lonely floor of hardwood

as I’m sifting through it all

Looking through the bullshit

Picking apart your lies

seeing beyond that make shift smile

Behind those pretty eyes

Waiting for damnation

To take me from your sins

You are the only battle

I know I could never win

Nor would I ever want to

So I will relive it all

for I know how my heart is

I will just keep waiting for the fall

Cloaked

Your shadow engulfs me like a cloak
Under which I can hide
From myself,
From the world,
From the truth of it all
Keeping me warm
Tucked under your wings
Holding me close despite everything
Lost in those words
That you speak so well
Falling asleep so calm
In the midst of a raging hell
Holding my hand tight
Despite your bitter touch
Keeping me safe
Keeping me in thought
Keeping me bound
In this place
In your arms
Under your cloak made of shadows

Untitled

I am lost here without a light

in the darkness of this night

growing ill of all the wandering

but I won’t give up without a fight

 

Although my heart is surely stressing

from the constant inner pressing

sick to death of all my pondering

and my need for second guessing

 

Simple comforts I have no need for

this winding walk has made my feet sore

to reach an end is all I’m longing

struggling within my inner core

 

No shoes to walk down roads in

this gravel has worn my soles thin

the pain I am just prolonging

slowly wearing out my own skin

 

This chance that I am taking

seems to have been in the making

of a game I am forever losing

while my faith in this is breaking

 

Lost the endless losing battle

all of the useless prattle

this game was of your choosing

but my spirit you can’t rattle

 

So I’ll walk alone within this dark

on a journey only I can embark

rubbing sticks between my hands

until a subtle flame does spark

 

Only then will I again be found

after all the traversed ground

in the blackness of these lands

I will no longer be bound

The Calm

It is quiet and it is peaceful
        just the calm before the storm
          It creeps up slowly behind us 
      with a CRASH
upon my door
         Fiercely knocking to get in
      I will try to keep it at bay
          Nothing more I know to do
   but to fight another day

Circles

I feel like I’m running circles

Doing laps inside my head

Never imagined living this life

feeling like part of me was dead

I’ve lost so many battles

I don’t know where to begin

But I can drag myself through this

and I will walk upright again

I peer inside my inner self

so I can find my motivation

To move in any direction

to land where I fall

no pre determined destination

Breaking

The weight of it all

has me breaking

into tiny bits

Just ragged pieces

No answers given

and even fewer reasons

Heavy as my heart

Begin to sink below the earth

digging up everything

I had hid beneath this dirt

Secrets surface

All my truths revealed

I must be merely dreaming

because none of me is real

On the road…

Since the day I met her I knew I loved her.  I lived my life for her for so long I could barely remember who I was.  I had everything I had ever wanted… Or did I?  I had set my dreams aside for her, to live beside her, to love her.  I almost forgot where my drive for life had originated.  I loved music, almost as much as I loved her.  Possibly more so, I don’t even know anymore.  She was the love of my life, but music WAS my life.  I had put it off for so long, I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I had to see if this was all there was for me, or if there was something more out there waiting, hoping I would find it.  I would have to leave her for awhile, but she had my heart and you can’t leave your heart for good.  She knew I’d be back once I found what I was looking for.  So I set out on a journey.  Seeking music.  Seeking everything I once based my life off of.  Searching for that which held my heart before she had, so I could give the rest of it to her someday.  I am on a journey, maybe someday I will find what I seek.

Why

Why do you argue, when you have nothing to say

Who can you trust when you just give it away

Where will you go when all your bridges have burned

What will you do when none of those lessons were learned

When everything turns from the day into night

Will you be ready to give up the fight?