lights out

There is no light when the love’s gone

There are no better days or open doors

It’s like walking through fields of water overflowing

Each step you slip deeper

Every minute brings you closer to the edge

An abyss awaits to suck you in and bring you down

It’s there to remind you of everything you’ve loved and lost

To convince you that nothing matters because all of the shit that used to, left you behind

Waiting in the distance hoping to watch you cave in

Under the weight of it all

To drown in the very tears that held memories as they slid down your cheek

It’s dark when the light is off

And cold when the love runs out

Riding off into the Sunset

I’m here waiting on this shoreline
For a ship to come in from sea
For one to come, and sail far away with me

I hear the sirens voices
Calling me to their beach
But I’ve got my distance, my life is out of reach

If my boat ever comes in
I’ll sail off into the blue
Riding off into the sunset, searching for something new

While I wade here suffering
As this salt still stings my throat
I know that I’m my only lifesaver, I’ll try to keep myself afloat

But when these waves finally take me
And the current pulls me down
I’ll leave behing my memories, in these waters as I drown


So I sit here waiting

Waiting for the fall

on this lonely floor of hardwood

as I’m sifting through it all

Looking through the bullshit

Picking apart your lies

seeing beyond that make shift smile

Behind those pretty eyes

Waiting for damnation

To take me from your sins

You are the only battle

I know I could never win

Nor would I ever want to

So I will relive it all

for I know how my heart is

I will just keep waiting for the fall

Biding Time

And this shadow has me engulfed like a blanket over my head.  The heat building up until my lungs are so dry that I can’t take another breath.  Choking me.  All while saving me from this moment.  Releasing the inner darkness, keeping me blind to everything.  At the same time it’s clearing my head.  Like warm bath water washing over me.  Washing away all memories, good and bad, dissolving thoughts that no longer have substance.  Watching, waiting for the time to come when the air has cleared, and the flames have died down.  Biding time until the shroud of blackness is lifted and the light once again guides me on my way.



Into This Night

I will go blindly into this night, into the dark.  I shall not fear the unknown, but embrace it with open arms.  To search for the little bits of light that have been riddled throughout, hidden in the darkness.  I know it does exist, it must, it just has to be sought out, and seek it I shall.  With as much faith as I can muster up, I will be vigilant in my search.  Through the dank, tortuous roads, not guided by light posts, but by the light of the moon.  The air so thick I must claw my way through.  Sifting the mist through my fingers.  The dark can be overwhelming at times, but hold on I must.  Keeping my head up as I walk this darkened path.  For I know that the light at the end will be brilliant, and I will finally have found what I have been searching for.  So fearlessly I march, to the end, to reach the beginning again.

Baby Blues

I know that look you give me,

I know your smile is fake

When will you stop giving

how much more will she take

my friend please understand me

I tell you this with love

You’re too good for her

you don’t need her



I look into those baby blues

and I melt on the inside

because I have a secret

and you don’t know

all these feelings that I hide



I can feel the pain you put off

and the tears you shed alone

I want so much to love you

when you are finally ready

you’ll be the first to know

but don’t worry until then i’ll be waiting

I know some day you’ll wake up

realizing how happy you could be



I look into those baby blues

and I melt on the inside

because I have a secret

and you don’t know

all these feelings that I hide



One day you will notice

one day you will finally see

all this time you’ve been searching

you were looked right past me

I could be your everything

I could be the one

I’ve been here this whole time

since your searching had begun



When I look into your baby blues

and you smile back at me

I want to tell you everything

all these feelings that I hide


I’ll wait until I can finally say…

I knew one day you’d notice

it was me this whole damn time

took you long enough to realize

I wanted to make you mine

I’ve got everything she didn’t

anything you’ll ever need

so baby take a chance

I promise to give you what you need



When I look into those baby blues,

and you stare back at mine

you know all my secrets

all the love I no longer need to hide

everything you ever wanted

was right here the whole time

Here I Am

Here I am, standing, watching, waiting for a clue. I want to move off of this wretched plain and show the world what I am made of. I want to see all that I have been blinded to for so long. I am ready and willing to take this leap. I need this, can’t you see it as I see it? I am ready for this… Here I am, moving, seeing, changing into something beautiful starting this life anew.

~heart & soul~