You can rip me open
And put me down
Tear out my heart
Push me around

Hit me with your words
Knock me to the ground
Hold me under water
Hope to watch me drown

But you won’t ever beat me
As long as I’m at war with myself



I walk out of the rubble

The falling dust still stinging my eyes

Ashes mark my face like war paint

My arms comfortably numb

From fighting my way through the wreckage


I walk away from the past

From yesterdays anger and sorrow

Bridges I lit up behind me

I watched burn to the ground

So I won’t recross them tomorrow

Old worlds left beneath me crumbling

Memories still aflame

Left to drown in the smoke



I walked out of the rubble


You Said

Live in the moment, you said

As I lie here dying

Say what you must, you said

So with my last breath

I whispered your name

My first death

One of many

Metaphorically speaking

You only live once, you said

But I’ve seen too much already

You live what you learn, you said

I’ve learned heartbreak a plenty

The battlegrounds of life

My first loss

One of many

Seasoned vet in the art of love and war

You will always be here, you said

As you were walking away

You’ll never really be far, you said

In my heart you will stay

I’ll keep your memory

My first love

One of many

To love true, is to hold on forever


I feel like I’m running circles

Doing laps inside my head

Never imagined living this life

feeling like part of me was dead

I’ve lost so many battles

I don’t know where to begin

But I can drag myself through this

and I will walk upright again

I peer inside my inner self

so I can find my motivation

To move in any direction

to land where I fall

no pre determined destination

Inner Battle

I’m in the middle of a confrontation,

between Me, Myself and I.

I can’t decide who or what I am,

at least not what I have become.

It’s a constant battle within me,

I want to feel again as one.

My thoughts pull me in one direction,

while my heart just drags me down.

I hate being caught in this confliction,

fighting what I feel, with what I know.

Until I have a lone winner,

as a person I cannot grow.

I need to know what is inside me,

whether it is fake or it is real.

Because my head tells me to think,

while my heart tells me to feel.

Which is wrong for me to trust,

more importantly, which is right?

I am desperate to survive this struggle,

for I can no longer fight.

Emotional Wreck

Such an emotional wreck be I,

no subtle twinkling in my eye.

Hands so weakened as they shake,

everything I touch, I tend to break.

I’ll be lost for good before I am found,

screaming for help without a sound.

Battles fought yet rarely won,

two hearts once joined to beat as one.

A love so blurred, resembling hate,

your so called love was never fate.

All your words merely calming lies,

as a hope I had within me dies.

The day comes as swiftly, as it shall go,

true loves wish, I was never meant to know.

The Fight For Truth

There is a truth within us all. But only after we peel away the lies can we see what’s hiding underneath. It may not be pretty, but it’s raw, and it is true. And we all seek the truth whether we know it or not.
We fool ourselves day after day into believing in the wool that’s been pulled over our eyes. Because we fear the unknown, and sometimes it takes more strength to keep searching, than we have left in us.
Simply going on with this meaningless life, just to see just how long we can last. Almost like a dare, a dare in which our faith in everything is called to the front lines to fight. But sometimes the war was lost long before we ever realize it.
But we fight anyways. Fight for something, we fight for some kind of truth. Fight for that which we all desire deep down. When all the lies have consumed our hopes and dreams, our heart continues to beat. And with that the layers begin to shed. They drop away until the only thing left is that in which we seek.

~heart & soul~